What a week. I've worked at least 60 hours, but now I'm finally free to go home. After we spent nearly every minute in this building for the last week, our boss allowed us to take the afternoon off and start early into the weekend. Relief, that I'm going to have a whole three days with Michael ahead of me, I'm making my way home to our shared flat. We've just gotten it last month as we decided it was time to take the next step of our relationship. We had been dating for three years and four moths now so we thought it was about time.
I did not tell him, that I'm coming home earlier, as I wanted it to be a surprise. I pull up in the driveway and open the front door.
Trying not to make too much noise I'm walking through the halls of our flat. He's not in the lounge, neither he is in the ktichen where I thought he'd be. I shrug. Maybe he is taking a nap. I walk down the corridor to our bedroom. I think about the time we painted these walls. it was a chaos. First we had to agree on different colours and then we actually had to paint the walls. We got more colour on our selfs than we got on the walls. In the end we gave up and got someone else to do it. I chuckle.
When I reach the door, I open it quietly, not to wake him up. Slowly pushing it open, a weird smell is reaching my nose. What's going on? I peak my head inside the room. This is not real. This must be a bad dream. It can't be. My chest is tightening and it's hard to breath. A gasp is escaping my lips. My eyes start to burn and I have to blink the tears away, that were trying to fall off.
Michael is like I predicted it in bed taking a nap. But he isn't in bed alone. There is a blonde, naked girl lying next to him, in his arms. In my bed. With my boyfriend. Anger is boiling up in me. I look around the room and see all her cloths everywhere. I angrily pick them up, walk up to her, throw them in her face.
"It's time to leave, slut", I say as she is jolting up, looking around the room. Confused. When her eyes land on me she looks even more confused.
"Who do you think you are?", she angrily snaps at me, for calling her a slut. But please.
"Who I think I am?", I ask with a high pitched voice, not being able to controle my anger.
"You have the nerve to ask ME who I am? I can tell you who I am. I am his girlfriend. His girlfriend of three years and four months. You have the nerve to ask me, who I am, when you are in my flat, lying in my bed, in the arms of my boyfriend after you had sex with him! So I advice you now once more, if you don't want this to end badly, and trust me it won't be for me, you better pack your things. I don't care if you're dressed or not. I want you out of here withing the next ten seconds", I say with a low and angry voice. From all the trouble going on, the fine Mr. Clifford decided to wake up. He is looing from me, to the girl and back to me. His face paling with every second. The girl is gathering her thinks and quickly making a exit.
"Let me explain", Michael starts, when the girl is out of the room.
"Explain? What do you want to explain?", I cut him off, now clearly showing off my disappointment.
"I, it was not what it looked like", he says with this pleading tone in his voice.
"What, so you were just accidently, sleeping next to each other in our bed? Naked?"
"No, I mean", he trails off not being able to finish his sentence.
"I guess it would be better if we take a break", I say, walking over to the wardrobe to get a suitcase and some of my clothes.
"No! Please don't! I'm begging you! Don't leave me! I love you!", he half yells.
"You love me?", I ask, my voice breaking.
"You love me and still you were having another girl in our bed, the one we bought just last month, because we just moved into our own little flat and you know what? While you were shagging her, I was at work, working my ass off so we can afford this little place, so we have a good life. Do you know how hard it is? I'm doing everything for you, Michael. Everything. And you just go around destroying the life I'm trying to build up for us. You just throw everything away. I know it was hard for you, after your band split up, I know it. And I was supportive all this time. I helped you get back on track. I know it was hard for you to find another job, so I didin't pressure you into anything. No I took the double shifts and worked my ass of, because I thought it will help you to have time. But I didn't do it for you sleeping around behind my back, Michael. How do you think this is working?", I say, the tears now streaming down my face. I shake my had as he is not showing any kind of reaction, grab my suitcase and leave the flat. I wipe away the tears and drive to the only place where I knew I'd be safe. My brothers. Luke.
He doens't need to ask any questions when he sees my swollen face and the dull eyes. He opens up his arms and pulls me in. After a tea and a really long talk I feel much better. Luke said to give it time to think about it. Not pressuring me of getting back togehter. I had to convince him not to hurt Michael tho. He gets a little over protective sometimes. Big brother stuff and all that. So I'm going to do what Luke said. I'm going to give it time.
*
I stayed at my brothers place for about three weeks when I finally decided it was time to give Michael a chance and let him talk to me. He tried calling me, and he kept sending me texts. He even showed up here at Lukes place but Luke wouldn't let him in. I was even more focused on working to get my mind off things.
I texted Michael to be here at seven and when I open the door he looks nervous and quite shy. I let him in and we sit down in lounge. Luke and his wife are out for the night so we can talk without getting disrupted.
"I, uhhh, you look uhh good! Great actually", he says to break the tension. I just nod at him, not sure what to think of it.
"Okay, before you think I just came here to beg for you to come back for me, that's wrong. I'm not going to do this. I came here to show you, that I understand what you meant a few weeks back. I was an idiot. I'm not just saying it. No I realized how selfish and weak I was to let myself go like this. To stop careing. I gave up in life, because my life break apart with the band splitting up. I just forgot the most important thing. You. I do have you in my life, you are my life and I just took you for granted not once showing you the respect you deserved. You sacrificed so much for me and I just didn't see it. And I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I know words can't make it better and I'm not expecting for you to forgive me easily but I wanted you to know that I mean what I say. I changed. I got a job, a really good one surprisingly. I love working there. I met new people, made new friends and I even got back into contact with my family. I just want you to see that I'm being serious about this. I love you and I want to spend at least another three years with you. I know it's going to take a while for you to forgive me for what I've done, but I will wait for you", he says and while he is talking the tears are streaming down my face.
"You know, I've never been good with things I shouldn't do because I end up doing them anyways. Like now. I know I shoulnd't trust and forgive you that easily, but I already do, so what is the point in pretending I hate you. I love you, that will never change. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to forget what happened, but depending on the next couple of months we will see if I will be able to forgive you completely and to be able to look back at it and see it as a lesson for the both of us." I smile at him somehow knowing it will all be alright.
