I can home from school pissed right off again. I just wanted to cry. I was counting down days till summer break....83. That's a lot. The only way I could make it to the end was through self harm. It helps me a lot. So when I got inside I went on a hunt for where I had hid my razors last.
"Looking for these?" A male voice asked from behind me. I turned around to see my boyfriend Ashton. I couldn't get any words out, I knew Ash was disappointed in me.
"Baby c'...mon I thought you flushed them. I thought things were getting better. You never even came to me." I started crying
"I didn't want to annoy you"
"I hope one day you realise that you are never not annoying me, I just want to help you" he pulled me into a tight hug
"I'm sorry Ash"
"It's okay. Next time let me know and we can get through it together. You know what if you wanna cut, here" he said as he held out his own forearms "cut my wrists like you would cut yours"
"But baby, I can't do that to you, I...I can't hurt you like that" I told him. He looked at me for a moment
"Don't you see, it hurts me just as bad when you do this to yourself"
I did see. I completely understood what he meant. But I still didn't want to stop. Is that bad? That even my pleading boyfriend couldn't make me quit.
"Baby please promise me that you'll stop"
"I promise" I said secretly crossing my fingers behind my back so Ashton wouldn't see.