PLL Preferences

Alone

Jason- You snuggled further into Jason's side and he held you tight to him. The fire illuminated his face and you looked up to examine him. His eye color although you already knew what color they were. His hair and the way that one strand always is loose.

"What are you looking at?" he smiles softly and gently. His smile was something you couldn't describe. His smile was the sun on rainy days. It was the solace you searched for on days when you were sure you couldn't go on. Even though it's only been a couple weeks you're grateful for them because in this moment you know you have to get out. You can't fall in love, you're not ready and you know if you continue seeing Jason, you will. You'll fall deeper and deeper. Plus, this wasn't you, you weren't romantic.

You shift against his side and he looks down at you. "Follow me." He gets up and rests his hand on each side of your waist. It hurts you to know he is so unsuspecting. You keep thinking how terrible a person you are to feel little to know pain about doing this.

"What's up?" he asks once you two get to a secluded area. You glance down at your shoes and okay with your fingers. You search for the correct words but there are none. There are no "right" words to tell someone that although you love them, you can't be with them.

"Uhm, I can't keep doing this." you say simply. Jason shakes his head slightly. "I have to end...this." Jason tilts his head and then you feel it. You feel the pang of guilt and the ache of a broken heart.

"Why? I-is it me?" he stutters.

"No, it's the opposite actually. And yeah you might think I'm lying with the whole, 'it's not you, it's me' thing but I'm not. It is me. This isn't me. I'm just not ready." you explain. He looks so taken off guard and you look at him directly in his eyes.

"Look, you deserve someone really special because you are really special. I wish I could be that person right now but I'm not." you tell him while kissing his cheek. You walk away and disappear into the dark and he's left there with a broken heart and confusion.

It wasn't that you didn't love Jason, you weren't ready. You weren't ready to give all of yourself to a person. You weren't ready to let someone see the things about you didn't want to see yourself. You didn't want him to know your thoughts because what if he left? You'd rather leave him before he leaves you. Maybe that is why none of your relationships last. You leave before anybody even gets a chance.

Mike- Mike ran to your car as the rain poured down. You were picking him up from lacrosse practice and you were extremely nervous to say what you were about to say. You didn't have anything against Mike, you liked him and he was cute but you didn't want a relationship. You liked being independent.

He smells of rain and sweat and the aroma soon fills your car. You'll miss him but no a lot. You might sound rude saying that but it is true. Guys are allowed to have shirt flings but not girls? You're taking care of yourself in a world where that is necessary but also frowned upon. Mike must notice something is wrong because he snaps you out of your thoughts.

"Something wrong?" he asks while fumbling around in his bag.

"Not really, but we need to talk." Right when the words slip from your mouth he stops moving and sits up.

"You're breaking up with me?" he asks quietly. You don't say anything but a sigh does escape your lips.

"Why?"

"Cause I don't want to anymore. I like being independent." you answer quietly. It's the truth. You want to break up but you don't want to be telling him this. He's so nice and deserves a hell of a lot better. "Find someone who doesn't want to be alone okay?"

Mike sighs and just stares at you. He doesn't say anything. He just kisses your forehead, take his stuff and opens the door. "Hey, it's raining, I can still drive you home." you shout over the loud noise of the rain.

"It's fine. You like being alone right?" he smirks, earning a smile from you. He winks and runs off.

Mike and you are still friends, just not a couple. There's a quote that you associate with that situation. You don't know it exactly but it's like this, If you stay friends with an ex, you still love them or never did. You both knew which one it was.

Caleb- Everyone was hanging around and sitting on their cars drinking beers. You met this guy named Caleb who you've been traveling with for awhile.

You all basically just drive and drive and drink and go to parties. There's no real destination in sight, you're just going. But it's nice, you like it this way and it caters to your personality.

Caleb has been getting pretty serious about you which is worrying because you can't do that. That's not you. You're similar to a hurricane, everything you encounter or touch is left in ruins, something you hate about yourself. To save people from hurt, you live a temporary life, never staying with anyone or anyplace for too long. You are a temporary girl. It's safer for everyone. You don't necessarily mind it, maybe it's meant to be this way.

So when Caleb falls asleep, you take this time to leave and find the nearest diner or restaurant and stay there until morning. You're hopping the fence but then a hand finds your arm. You turn around to see Caleb looking shocked.

"What are you doing?" he asks. You climb down and turn to face him:

"Leaving." you state. He looks at you confused. "I have too."

"No you don't. I-I don't understand."

"Caleb I've been doing this for awhile and I need to leave again. Find some different people. It's been too long." you explain. "Look, I'm like a fucking hurricane alright? I destroy everyone and everything I meet. I have to leave before something bad happens. I'm a temporary person."

"You don't have to." he says.

"Yeah, I do. And it's okay. You'll meet some new people and so will I. It's been awesome." you smile. He hugs you and you jump the fence and leave.

Years have passed since this and you've become less of a temporary girl. There are still times when you'll disappear for days even weeks but everyone if your life knows you'll come back. You always do. As for Caleb, he swore he saw you at a Art Exhibit and he followed you down the hallway but you weren't there. You're just a temporary girl.

Have no idea where I came up with this one but I kinda like Caleb's(: