PLL Preferences

Hurting

Mike was waiting outside and grinned when he say you pulling up. You pretend to be in a good mood and force a smile. He opens the door and you waste as many minutes as you can just sitting their getting everything adjusted. "We going to school?" Mike asks with a slight laugh. You giggle nervously and nod your head.

You don't want Mike to know you feel this way but you do. You don't want him to bring it up but you magically want him to know something is wrong and ask you about it. You just want him to tell you that you'll be okay.

As you're driving you feel Mike's hand overlap your free one. You almost cry at the gesture for some reason. Nobody has ever really shown any interest in how you're doing. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing." you smile. He asked you. It was the perfect opportunity to tell the truth. Why didn't you? Maybe you were ashamed or too afraid of admitting that you were truly and utterly depressed.

"Y/N, I've known you for 7 years and been dating you for two, I know when you're lying." Mike explains.

"I uh, I'll just tell you later." you say while parking your car in the school lot and walking away. You can't help the tears that begin steaming down your face.

After 1st period you decide you need some time so you cut. You pass Mike's classroom and continue walking but stop when you hear a door open.

"Hey." you hear the familiar voice say as footsteps approach you. You turn around and see Mike behind you. "Why do you have your backpack?" he asks.

"I have a early dismissal." you lie.

"Again Y/N, I know when you're lying." he smirks. Right then and there you break down in tears. You slide down the row of lockers until you're sitting in the ground and Mike is beside you holding your shaking body.

"What's wrong? Hm?" he mumbles into your hair.

"I don't know. I just feel stuck. A-and I spend all my time trying to find out what's wrong with me but I can't and that's why I didn't tell you what was wrong because I don't know." you explain. Every word confuses you and your mind is just continuously running.

"I know." he states. You look at him confused. "I've noticed something different. I notice how you take every chance to leave your house, how you avoid every chance to really talk to someone. You used to never wanna go out and party. You wanted to stay at home with me and watch movies but now you're hungover every other day. I wanted you to be the one to tell me what's wrong." he explains. You nod and bury your head in your hands.

"You'll be fine Y/N. You just have to wait this out." he tells you while running your back.

"This will pass."

Caleb- Another day, another water bottle filled with not water but Vodka. It was sad really, that the only way you could get through the day or week was with alcohol.

Everything and anything that could go wrong was going wrong. Every aspect of your life has seemingly turned to shit. All the girls are mad at each other, well mad at you that is. Your parents are fighting. The only relatively good thing in your life at the moment is Caleb. He was your rock. You literally wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. So when he calls you and wants to hang out today, you hesitate. You don't want him to see this side of you. The side that you try your best to keep hidden.

"Uhm, sure." you whisper into the phone, your voice nearly cracking. He hangs up and is on his way to pick you up. You would drive but you're slightly tipsy.

"Y/N, Calebs waiting outside!" your mom shouts. You mumble and walk out with your hands clasped tightly around your coat and your water bottle. Caleb smiles once he sees you and opens the door from inside the car. You climb in and he leans in and kisses you.

He stops moving his lips and you know what has happened. He can taste the alcohol on your mouth. "Y/N.." he says. You pull away and slouch back into the seat ashamed. It's not that you're angry or upset, you're just miserable.

"Are you drunk?" he questions while sitting forward and putting his nose in front of your mouth. You turn your head uncomfortably and shift in the seat. "Y/N, why are you doing this?" he asks. You shake your head. Obviously you know the real reason but you're not going to say.

"I'm fine." you mutter. He tilts his head clearly not believing the bullshit you just fed him. "Look, I'll get better. I'm just dealing with stuff right now." You were sick of dealing with stuff.

"You don't have to deal with it alone." he smiles. You turn back towards him and flash a small, small smile at him.

"Baby, you don't have to hide these things from me. You're hurting and there's nothing wrong with that. But please don't isolate yourself and not let me be with you. I want you to be able to talk to me. I love you." he explains. A tear escapes your tired eyes but you don't move, instead you let Caleb wrap you in his warms which remind you of a safety blanket because he makes you feel safe.

sad preference): if any of you feel sad plz don't hesitate to message me because I'd be more than happy to listen to you.

Much love

2/25/16

-aja