Perspective

Dissapointment

~Host Sans

As I watched, I saw that other Sans, not chained up, and without Nightmare anywhere in the peripheral view. I knew he wasn't here for Fresh, so then... oh no.

I turned away from that screen that cast my vision, I had led him to nothing but disappointment, he came here, to spend whatever time he had without Nightmare chaining him up and treating him like an animal, trying to bring me back. And it was all my fault.

I tried to block out what he was saying, trying to make his attempts hurt less. Despite trying my best to block out his voice, I could still hear every bit of what he was saying. Saying that he knew I was still in there, and for me to listen, I had no choice.

Why, why did it hurt so much? To see someone that you know is being tortured and driven to insanity, then they ignore all that to help someone as worthless as I? Why do they keep trying? It just makes things hurt more.

Letting fear consume me was easy, but when others try to help you get out of this grave you've dug for yourself, they're only shoveling more dirt onto you, as you are buried in more painful thoughts. Drowning in your own emotions.

He began talking about how doesn't like how it has me, and I'm left here with the pain of his eventual disappointment and wondering of why he still cares whether I'm still here or not. As he confirmed my suspicion by saying that Nightmare still has control of him. All the more pain piled onto me, as I kept telling myself, it's all my fault. I'm leading everything into a vicious cycle of torture and depression for others. All because I can't shut myself up.

I've tried, tried so hard to stop myself from thinking at all, everything seems to set off those damn glasses. I'm better off gone.

Then he tries to pass up his sage advice, by saying that he didn't mean it. Whatever he had said previously, was all said when he wasn't in his right mind. Although no one could see or hear, I laughed. I laughed at how dumb this all sounded. When someone is completely insane, they aren't confined to rules, they'll speak the truth, even if it's something that people don't want to hear. People who are considered sane ignore any truth that speaks against their fragile morals, and that's that, all said and done. He also said that I still have a chance, but in reality, I'm like him. Imprisoned in my own mind, with no way of communicating, no home to go back to, and no hope left for me. The only difference is that he, not I, actually have a chance at having a shred of hope for freedom.