Perspective

Reluctancy

~Fresh

The second I grabbed a hold of my old host's soul, I realized the little dilemma I just got myself in. I just possessed someone, in front of people who are already on edge, about to kill me, and people trying to defend me. I couldn't help but shiver in fear, as Error took a look, and tried to attack me. Luckily, Ink managed to hold him back. I was completely silent, thinking that there was a guarantee that whatever came out of my mouth would kill me. The Geno Sans stared at me, it was uncomfortable given the situation, and I could feel myself shaking in fear even more.

The Geno Sans took notice and whispered something to Ink and Error.

"Error, just give it a break, look at him, he's scared," Geno said in a way that didn't seem taunting.

It still seemed like an insult though, it came off as him treating me like a scared kid. Or he meant it in another way, he could just be treating me like how I should be treated, despite my better judgment, like a pathetic, scared, parasite.

"Good! Let him be scared! It'll make it so much more fun to kill him!!!" Error retorted still trying to get to me.

Ink brought the two away from me to talk, all I could do was sit there, and wait. After a few minutes, hours, days? Again, time doesn't make sense in here. They came back with Error crossing his arms, maybe I could make it out alive. Ink approached me, as I was still shaking, waiting for some kind of response, something to calm my nerves.

Ink explained what they talked about, all I did was nod, still afraid. Ink tried to reason with me, as Error put it, mumbling to himself. Like I would just go ahead and kill someone for no reason. I only do it so I don't have people to deal with later that will kill me if they knew.

Ink was saying things like I don't have to kill people, and that I don't need souls to live. To put it bluntly, he's asking me to starve myself. No matter, I have a good amount of energy to last me until this whole thing blows over. Luckily I can keep the host, but unfortunately, I have to keep him under control, without hurting him. And to add onto my stress, if I slip up, even one time, Error gets to kill me. Hopefully, this challenge will be over quick.

A few weeks passed, and I'm still not close to being done. I don't think I can do this any longer. This whole time, I've been consumed by my fear of starving or messing up. I'm not doing this because I want to, I haven't told them, but it's because I feel forced to. So much stress and fear in my mind, I've barely spoken to anyone while here. I've finally managed to keep myself from shaking from pain and fear, but it still doesn't quench my thirst for a soul.

They took me out, once. It was like I was some kind of prisoner or something. They surrounded me while we were walking. Everywhere I looked, I didn't see monsters or people, I just saw the souls inside of them, so close to me, yet so far beyond my reach. And then there I was, back in the Anti-void. The soul I had in my grasp, I could barely even touch. Geno had left to talk to the Dust Sans. The Dust Sans was such a distant thought now, my tentacle hasn't healed any further. I can't generate it fully until I have more energy. My ration from the other host is running low, and I want this training to end.