So I haven't updated this certain chapter in awhile and haven't updates on awhile in general, so I apologize. But I hope you are having an amazing week(:
Jason- Today was the day. The day you say goodbye forever to Spencer. Mrs. Hastings asked each of you girls to speak at the funeral. In all honesty, you don't want to. Not because you're afraid of speaking in public, or of messing up the speech but because you don't think you'll be able to make it through without bursting into hysterics.
"Y/N, are you ready?" Hanna asks from your bedroom.
"Almost!" you call to her. "Han, can you check my phone and see if Jason called me?" you ask. You hear a 'mhm' and continue on with your makeup.
"Yeah, he's on his way!" Hanna says.
"Thanks." you smile while walking out of the bathroom. You examine Hanna and her facial expressions. She doesn't have the usual sparkle in her eye. Or the smirk that's always plastered on her face. Or even her body expressions. She's not jittery--well who would be today? But she's not swaying back and forth impatiently on her feet as usual. Seeing Hanna not herself, makes me feel even more uneasy.
"What?" she asks.
"Nothing." you reply lowly. You hear a car door shut and look out the window. "Jason's here with the others." you state. One by one they get out of the car.
Aria. She's wearing a black dress the ends just above her knees. The straps are thick and she has bracelets littering her wrists. Her smile has also shifted into a, what seems like, permanent frown. Her hair is in its usual, straight state.
Emily gets out next. She's wearing a dress that goes to her knees and hugs her tightly. Her hair is in loose curls and she keeps her head down.
Then Jason, he instantly sees you and tries ha best to comfort you by flashing a small, but nonetheless, comforting smile. You smile back. "Hey guys." you say just above a whisper as they all pile into your house. They say Hey back.
"Ready?" you ask.
"Wait." Aria speaks up. Everyone looks over at her. "Before we go, I just uhm, wanted to say that, whatever people say here, at the funeral, I'm always gonna remember Spencer as the way we knew her. Smart, loyal, kind and determined. Okay?" Aria explains. You all share looks and then a smile.
"I am too." you state. Everyone agrees.
•••
You arrive at the funeral home and immediately see Spencer lying in the casket. The casket that was bought far too early for a girl who died far too soon. Your hand flies up to your mouth as you view her cold, lifeless body. Her face is so pale. Her hair is straightened and she has the necklace on Toby got her just about a month before she was murdered.
"Oh my god." Hanna says breathlessly. You grab Hanna's hand in attempts to calm her. Hanna, Emily and Aria holds hand while you latch onto Jason's; the only person who keeping you sane.
"It's okay." he whispers in your ear. "It's fine." You nod and walk up to your bestfriends body. Not her, but her body. A tear cascades down your cheek and you find yourself biting down on your lips in attempts to stop from sobbing. You squeeze your eyes shut and then open them. You put your hand on Spencer's and you're shocked by how cold she is.
"I love you." you whisper. Eventually everyone sees her and you sit down next to Jason and the girls.
"Okay, so now one of Spencer's bestfriends; Y/N Y/L/N is going to speak." Nervously you look at Jason and he gives your hand one last squeeze before you stand up and walk over to the podium.
"Uhm, hi." you greet everyone while eyeing the crowd. You didn't bring your paper, you believe you have memorized most of what you're going to say.
"Ive been bestfriends with Spencer since about 5th grade. And let me tell you, never have I met someone as intelligent, loyal, kind and beautiful as Spencer. I always admired her for these qualities. She had a way of pulling everyone together. No matter what we were doing or where we were, she always pulled us together. Even if we were all mad at each other, she got us working together. She was the glue that held us together. And now, there's always gonna be a missing piece. I remember the one time, Spencer and I were in Math class and naturally I had no idea what was going on, so at the end of class Spencer had filled out a whole note sheet for me and went over it with me because she knew I wouldn't know how to do it. That goes to show how loyal and kind and smart Spencer was. So, to end this I just wanna say that Spencer deserved every thing that this world has to offer and she would have given this world so much, just as she did for me."
By the end of your speech the whole crowd was in tears. And so were you. You walk away and at the end of the funeral, Jason is waiting for you with his arms open wide. "That was beautiful." he whispers into your ear.
"Thank you." you mumble against his chest.
"You know she's always gonna be with you." Jason starts. "Somewhere, somehow she's gonna be watching you. She loves you."
Mike- Emily's funeral is today. That sentence sends shockwaves throughout your body. Emily's Funeral. The words don't even sound real. "Aria," you start. She looks up from the piece of paper that she has her speech on. "I-I'm afraid." you add.
"Of what?" she questions with her eyebrows furrowed.
"I'm afraid that I will forget. That I'm gonna forget all the memories that we had with Emily." you admit. Arias expression softens and she reaches her hand out to yours.
"You won't. I can guarantee you with everything in me that you will never forget the memories that we had with her Y/N." she smiles. You smile and hear the front door open. You turn around and see Mike walk through.
"Hey." you smile while standing up and hugging him.
"Hey baby."
"Y/N, I'm gonna go finish getting ready." Aria says, already halfway up the stairs.
Mike pulls you to the couch and you straighten out your black dress. He plays wth your hands and plants small little kisses on them repeatedly. "You okay?" she asks. You nod.
"Sure?"
"Yep."
"Okay I'm ready." Aria sighs. You and Mike walk hand in hand to the car.
"Spencer and Hanna are just gonna meet us there." Aria tells you.
•••
You begin to walk through the doors and you quickly catch a glimpse of Emily's body, causing you to gasp and become frozen. Someone accidentally shoved into you and Mike has to pull you back. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, worry lacing his voice.
"E-Emily." you stutter. Mike sighs and nods.
"Look, you'll walk in and see her and then sit down, alright? The other girls and I will be there right with you." Hearing this makes you feel slightly better. You walk through the doors and the other girls stare at you and wait until you reach the casket. It's a white casket that all of us can sign.
"I'm sorry Em. I'm so sorry." you whisper. Mike holds your shoulder and rubs it softly. Finally everyone sits down and its your turn to speak.
"Y/N Y/L/N is now going to be speaking. She was one of Emily's bestfriends." Emily's dad says. You smile and Mike whispers 'you've got this' in your ear.
"Hey everyone." you start. "So, I could go on and on about Emily but I'm assuming there's a time limit." you say earning soft laughs from the crowd.
"First thing I want to say is, Emily was the absolute most gorgeous girl you would have ever met. Also, she was the most talented and down to earth person. She was so talented. She would excel at any sport she tried. The one thing I loved about her is her strength. She went through so much and still managed to stay true to herself. She found herself amongst all of the awful stuff happening around her. You could call her at 3 in the morning and she would be there in a millisecond, ready to help. Another thing amongst the many that I loved about her was her passion. She was passionate about everything she did. She loved with everything in her and if you were lucky enough to be in her life, you can vouch for that. Even though Emily's not here, I will cherish the moments that I've had with her and no matter how old I get, or where I go in life, I will hold onto those memories forever."
There's multiple claps that erupt from the crowd and everyone disperses to talk to others. You migrate over towards Mike and he takes your hand and leads you outside. "You did so good." he smiles. You smile and kiss him.
"I'm gonna miss her like crazy." you say.
"I know. We all will."
Caleb- Hanna Marin. A name you will live to remember. Hanna's funeral is today and the tears won't stop coming. Every time you think you're done crying. More tears come. Caleb was in your kitchen fixing you a smoothie while you finish getting ready. Your outfit consists of a plain black dress and an anklet that Hanna gave you a couple years back.
"Y/N your smoothies ready." Caleb says softly. Lately, he speaks as if his words will break you.
"Thanks baby." you hum. Caleb has been beyond sweet.
"I'm nervous." you state.
"You'll be fine." he says while rubbing your lower back.
"Y/N!" you hear Spencer's voice call. "In here!"
You hear the clunk of Spencer's heels each time she steps on your hardwood floors.
"Are you ready? It's starting in 20 minutes." Spencer sighs. You glance at Caleb and inhale deeply.
"Let's go." you state.
•••
You arrive at the funeral home and when you walk in, your mind goes back to when you saw Hanna's bloody body lying on the side of the fucking road.
"Caleb, I-I can't." you say.
"Look at me. You can. You can go in there, do your speech and get through it. I know you can." he says while gripping your shoulders. You nod and walk in. In the casket lies Hanna's body which surprisingly looks normal. It doesn't have cuts not bruises or the gunshot wound that actually ended her life.
"Hanna." I hear Spencer whimper. The other girls crowd around the casket. I hate seeing her like this. She should be alive, graduating alongside with us and becoming a fashion designer and doing all the things she wanted to do.
"I'm happy to have Y/N, Hanna's bestfriend come up and speak." Mrs. Marin announces. Nervously, you stand up and run a hand through your hair.
"Hi, uhm, I'm Y/N." you say awkwardly. "There are hundreds of words to describe Hanna Marin. A few are beautiful, talented, hilarious and assertive. Assertive as in she knew what she wanted. If she saw something she wanted, she went at it with everything in her. She was willing to do anything for anyone. She stood up for me countless times and I'll never be able to repay that debt. I think anyone who ever had the chance at meeting Hanna, could agree that she had a fire within her that would have taken her far. I'm so truly lucky to have been able to watch her grow and change and been alongside her while she was doing so. Hanna Marin will be a name that I'll never forget. I couldn't even if I tried. So when you see something you want, go for it, just as Hanna did."
Tears are now streaming down your face as hiccups erupt from your throat. "Come here." Caleb coos. Without hesitation you rush into his arms and let him soothe you.
"You did great."
"I hope."
"You did. Everything you said what true."
Hope you liked this one! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile I've just been really busy but I have really big news!!!
So, I am biracial and since the age of like 4 I have been getting relaxers but lately I just wanna go natural. So I'm stopping my relaxers and eventually my go is by the end of the school year or summer I'm going to do the big chop! For those who don't know the big chop is when I cut all of my relaxed hair off and let my natural fro grow out(: I'm really excited and ready to go natural!