It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 151

July 19, 1994

Today, my mother was finally going to let my children live with me again. I bought our little apartment for us and it was very cozy. It was very close to Dave's house, too, so if I ever needed anything, he would be there in a split second. 

But, before I picked up my girls, I was going to have a talk with James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich. 

I was utterly disgusted by them and what they said. They had no fucking right to say that and I know for a fact that if someone made a joke about Cliff Burton two months after he died, they would fucking kill them. So yeah, I'll kill them. 

Not only did they disrespect my husband, they disrespected the father of my daughter. 

I was not going to let that slide. 

Dave and Krist picked me up and then we drove to Kirk's hotel. Dave and Krist wanted to tag along in case things got out of hand or they got physical. I knew that James and Lars probably weren't going to care about what I had to say, but I didn't care. I needed to get it out of my system. 

Even if things did get physical, I had two men to back me up and one of them was way taller than Lars. Krist could step on Lars. I wished he would. 

"We're here!" Dave shouted. 

We parked and walked inside of the hotel and walked to their hotel room. 

"I'm surprised you guys are letting me do this," I said as we stood outside the door. 

"He made fun of Kurt," Krist said. "That's not cool."

I nodded my head. "God, I wish I was a man. Then I would beat the shit out of them."

"Kurt would beat the shit out of you just for saying that," Dave said. "You know, because he was a feminist."

I shook my head and knocked on the door. Kirk opened up and smiled. 

"Hey, Ruby," He said. "Can I give you a hug? I feel terrible about what happened."

I nodded my head and gave him a tight hug. 

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling," Kirk said as he welcomed us inside of the room. 

We walked inside and I saw James and Lars sitting down on the couch with Jason. 

"Yeah, having someone commit suicide is terrible," I said. "Well, he really liked your guys' music. I probably made him like it more because I used to really like you guys, but yeah."

"Ruby!" James hollered and walked over to us. "How you doing?"

"I'm doing really good."

"Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry about Kurt. I hope everything is alright with you."

"Yeah," I nodded my head, and then Lars walked over. 

"I'm sorry about Kurt," Lars said sympathetically. "What a terrible thing to happen. I mean, how have you been keeping up?"

"Not working at McDonald's, that's for sure!" I yelled. "I mean, I know I wasn't in Nirvana, so I can't be considered a 'remaining member', but you know."

James smiled and shook his head. "Who told you?"

"No one told me. I was there."

"You were not!" Lars shouted. 

"Yes, I was!" I lied again. "God, Lars, you think you're so funny. You're actually an idiot. First of all, it wouldn't be four legs, it would be six. There's Krist, Dave, and Pat. So fuck you for that. And second of all, you think you're so funny for saying they work at McDonald's. You could literally fucking work as Santa's elf at the mall or something. Your drumming is godawful, so I think that could be a good backup plan for you."