It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 19

"Let me ask you something: Do you love my daughter?" My dad asked Kurt. 

"Of course I do."

"Let me tell you something, boy. I watched my daughter break because her boyfriend killed himself and left her. If you-"

"I will never, ever leave her or do that to anyone. I promise. I do not want to die."

I held his hand tighter. 

"Ruby, do you love him?" He asked me. 

"Yeah," I smiled. "I do love him."

My mom gasped. "Is that a guitar?"

"Yeah," I looked over. 

"Ruby, you should play something," Kurt urged me. 

"No."

"You are so good."

"Kurt," I groaned, grabbed the guitar and its pick, and walked back to the couch. 

I started playing "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)"-it was my mom's favorite. I remember that I would always sit down on the couch and play it for her. There was one time where she fell asleep to me playing. At first I thought that it was because she was bored, but she explained that it was really beautiful, but really slow and she was just tired that night. 

After I finished playing, everyone clapped and I put the guitar away. 

"Can we cook something?" My mom asked. "Your dad and I have been working really hard on making lasagna together."

"Sure," I smiled. "The kitchen's over there."

They walked into the kitchen and started making food. 

"They aren't as scary as I thought that they would be," Kurt whispered in my ear. 

I chuckled. "Your mom stopped by last month."

"She told me. She really loves you, Ruby."

"Really?"

"I don't know what you told her, but she fell in love with you and Lorelai."

I smiled. "Kurt, can we talk about something?"

"What?"

I took his hand and guided him into the bedroom and told him what I saw on the T.V.

He had no expression on his face. "Do you really think that I would cheat on you?"

"Quit getting so defensive-I was just telling you what I saw."

"Do you really think that I would cheat on you?"

"No, but there's always a chance that you could."

"Ruby, do you think I'm cheating on you?"

"I don't know, okay?! Jesus fucking Christ! I thought we could just talk about it."

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Is what she said true or not?"

"Do you think it is?"

"Tell me, Kurt."

He just stared at the ground and I felt an uncertain feeling in my stomach. 

"Kurt," I said. "Answer the goddamn question."

"One-time thing," Was all I heard him mutter. 

"What?"

"I slept with her one night, okay?"

"YOU WHAT?!"

"It was one night, Ruby. I was really drunk and I-"

"That's no fucking excuse, Kurt. Why would you do that to me?!"

"I wasn't thinking, okay?"

I started crying. "Fuck you! Get the fuck out of my apartment."

"But-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT, KURT! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! AFTER ALL THAT I DID FOR YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! FUCK YOU!"

He walked past me and I heard the front door open and slam shut. 

I walked out of the bedroom and my mother came out asking, "What was all that commotion?"

As soon as she saw me, she said, "Holy shit."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry that it didn't turn out as good as you wanted it to," I apologized for about the fiftieth time. 

"You didn't know that he was going to do that," She said. "But it definitely didn't make a good first impression."

"I'm going to beat his fucking ass," Dave said. 

"No you won't," I muttered and hugged him. "I just want to go on a drive. Can we go on a drive?"

"Of course," He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we walked to the car. 

I sat in the passenger seat and he sat in the driver. I turned on the 'Ride the Lightning' CD and blasted it. 

"You're still into 'Metallica'?" He asked. 

"I've always loved them. Can we go drive to a park?"

"Which one?"

"The nearest one."

He drove to a park and I ran out of the car and laid down on my back on the grass. 

"Dave, he cheated on me," I started sobbing again. 

He ran to me and hugged me. "Hey, it's okay."

"No it's not!" I pushed him away. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to push you, I-"

"Shh," He pulled me onto his lap and tickled my back. 

He always knew what to do that would calm me down. 

Everyone said that Dave had a crush on me, but I knew that he didn't. We were just really, really close. We always had been and we always would be. We got each other and no one else would understand that. 

"Dave?" I asked after I finally stopped crying. 

"Yeah?"

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

I sat up and looked at him. "That he cheated on me."

"Yeah, but it wasn't my business to tell."

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" I stood up and felt this burst of rage flow through me. "You're fucking joking. Tell me you're joking."

"It's not my business to tell."

"So you didn't tell me that my boyfriend SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?! GET IN THE FUCKING CAR AND DROP ME OFF AT MY HOUSE!"

I sat in the back in silence. I felt betrayed by everyone. 

My best friend lied to me. He told me that he didn't cheat on me and that Kurt would never do that. But here we are: Kurt cheated on me.