It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 123

February 12, 1994

"Krist called me today," Shelli said, carrying my parent's suitcases downstairs. "And he was high as fuck."

"When is he not?" Jennifer joked. 

I picked up some of the suitcases and placed them into my parent's car. 

They weren't going to be staying at my house anymore. They felt like I was doing better off and I was able to be alone with my daughters. Part of me knew that they just wanted to be more involved in my life, too. It felt like I never really talked to my dad with the time that he was staying there. He was always in his room reading the newspaper or sleeping, but we still had little talks occasionally. 

I hugged them both. 

"It was nice having you here," I told them. 

"I knew that it wasn't too bad," My mom smiled. 

Lorelai and Melissa hugged my parents. 

"We'll see you soon, kiddos," My dad rubbed the top of Lorelai's head. 

"Love you!" I shouted at them as they got into their car. 

They waved to us, and then drove off. The girls ran back inside and went straight into their bedrooms. 

"How has Kurt been doing?"  Shelli asked me. 

"As far as I know, he's been good," I replied. "Why? Has Krist said otherwise?"

"No, no, I was just making sure."

"Dave told me that Kurt's been picking on him and Pat, though," Jennifer told us. 

"When is he not?" Shelli asked. "I feel like that's all he does when it comes to them."

"Exactly. He favors Krist over them."

"Well, that's because they've been best friends for a long time."

"Still, though. He shouldn't be treating them like that. I mean, Krist should be standing up for them, too."

"Now don't go turning this back onto Krist."

In the middle of the bickering, the phone rang-they didn't even notice. I walked into the kitchen and answered it. 

"Hello?" I asked. 

"Ruby," Kurt said. 

"Hey," A smile immediately appeared onto my face. 

"What are you doing?"

"Listening to Jennifer and Shelli bicker with each other."

"That's always fun."

"Most guys find it hot."

"That's fucking gross, Kurt. How have the shows been?"

"They've been pretty good so far. The audiences have been amazing, too."

"They love you guys."

"Too bad I don't love them back."

"Kurt, we're getting married in six months."

"We're already married."

I scoffed. "Well, you know what I mean."

"I was doing an interview a couple days ago and the interviewer kept asking about you...it was kind of creepy."

"What would they say?"

"They kept asking about our kids, how old they were, your favorite color, your middle name, etc. It was just a bunch of personal shit that they would ask."

"That's weird. My parents aren't going to be staying at the house anymore. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm happy, but at the same time, I'm kind of nervous. What if someone breaks in?"

"No one's going to break in. If they do, you call the police, grab the gun, and defend yourself. Hide the girls."

Right as I was about to answer, the doorbell rang. 

"I'll get it!" Shelli jumped off of the couch and answered the door. "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm a friend of Kurt's and Ruby's," A man said. "Who are you?"

"Ruby, who the fuck is this?!" Shelli asked. 

"One second, Kurt," I placed the phone down and gasped as soon as I saw who was standing there. "Hi, Thom!" I gave him a hug. "How do you know where we live?"

"Kurt gave me your address," He replied. "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

"No, no, it's not a bad time at all. Let me just hang up the phone really quick." I ran to the phone. "Hey, Kurt I have to go. Thom's here."

"Thom?!" He sounded startled. 

"Yeah. Is that a problem?"

"No, I'm just confused as to why he's there."

"Me too," I chuckled. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Probably not tomorrow."

"Oh, then the day after?"

"We have a show that day."

"You also have a show today."

"I know, but-I'm not about to argue. Go hang out with Thom and see what the fuck he wants, okay?"

"Okay, Kurt."

"Bye."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

I set the phone back and Shelli and Jennifer said that they were going to be leaving. I was kind of glad that they were because I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to keep all three of the adults occupied with one another. 

After they left, Thom and I sat at the kitchen table.

Right as Thom opened his mouth to say something, Melissa squealed as Lorelai chased her around the kitchen. 

I chuckled. "Sorry."

"No, it's alright," He waved it off. 

As soon as the squealing ended, I moved closer to him to hear him better. 

"So, what brings you here?" I asked him. 

"I was thinking about our interaction that we had at the restaurant and I wanted to talk to Kurt again, but sadly he's not here."

"No, he's going to be on tour for a very long time."

"How do you deal with that?"

"I don't. I'm, like, the worst person ever when it comes to long-distance. But, his next tour, I'm probably going to tag along with him."

"Have you done it before?"

"Yeah, the last time I did it, we got married."

His eyes widened. "I did not see that coming. I remember that back in 1992, there was a lot of hype going around about you, Kurt, and Courtney."

My whole expression changed. 

I guess I had forgotten that the world was kind of involved with my life, too. They probably knew about Kurt and Courtney before I did. There were pictures of them in magazines and in the newspaper, but there probably weren't a lot of Kurt and I. There was nothing scandalous about our relationship, itself. 

"You alright?" He asked. "I'm sorry if I hit a tough spot."

"No, it's alright. Don't worry."