It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 90

August 18, 1993

I had just gotten out of the shower and a towel was the only thing that covered my naked body. Lorelai and Melissa were sitting down in front of my bed playing with each other. Then, there was a knock on the door. 

Lorelai yelled, "I got it!" and ran to the door. 

"No!" I yelled, but she still kept running. I picked up Melissa, not wanting to leave her alone now that she could crawl, and I ran downstairs, but it was too late. 

Lorelai had already opened up the door. 

"Who are you?" She asked. 

When I finally made it in front of the door, I saw a middle-aged man with glasses and brown hair standing in front of us. I pushed Lorelai behind the door. 

"Who are you?" I asked. 

"I am Donald Cobain."

"Who?"

"Kurt Cobain's father."

"Oh. He's not here right now."

"Then I'll just wait for him to come back."

"No, he's out of state."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I chuckled. "I drove him. Would you like to come in?"

"Um, sure," He sat down on the couch and I shut the door behind him, locking it. 

"How do I know you're actually his father and not a random person?" I asked. "Tell me something about him that only someone he knows would know."

"I didn't want him and neither did his mother. When he was younger, he was so full of life, but after we got a divorce, he just became someone else. I also carry this picture around with me." He took his wallet out of his pocket and showed me a picture. It was of him and Kurt along with a woman with red hair and another girl sitting next to Kurt. Wait, not red hair. Blond. "Our family when we were still a family."

I then realized that I was still just wearing a towel. 

"Oh my fucking God!" I exclaimed. "Do you mind if I go and put some clothes on and change?"

"Of course."

I ran upstairs, put Melissa in her crib, then put on a shirt and shorts. I grabbed Melissa and rushed back downstairs and sat next to him. 

"I am so sorry about that," I placed Melissa on the carpet and watched as she crawled around. 

"Who are the littles?" He asked. 

"That one's Melissa and that one's Lorelai," I pointed to both of them as I said their names. 

"They're both yours and Kurt's?"

"It's...complicated. Melissa's is biologically ours, but Lorelai is someone else's that is no longer with us-her father. So Kurt agreed to be her father."

"Oh. Did he leave or?"

"He left the world, yes."

"I am sorry."

"It's alright. So, can I ask why you're here?"

"I was planning to stop by and talk to Kurt."

"Oh. You can stay for dinner if you would like."

"Oh, that's alright."

There was an awkward silence between us until the phone rang. 

I got up, perhaps too quickly, and answered it. "Hello?"

"Ruby," Kurt sighed. "I've been trying to contact you all day and-"

"Kurt, your father's here," I whispered. 

"What?"

"Your father's here."

"Get him the fuck out of that house. I don't want him near my daughters."

"He came to talk to you."

There was a pause. 

"Then have him come talk to me."

"Um, Donald?" I raised my voice so he could hear me. "Kurt's on the phone."

Donald hesitantly got up and answered the phone. I sat on the floor with Melissa and Lorelai. 

"Melissa," I said in a high-pitched voice. "Come here, baby."

She stood up on her own and giggled, flailing her hands around. 

"Come walk to Mommy," I held my hands out in case she fell. 

"Walk, Melissa!" Lorelai yelled. 

"Lorelai, do you still have schoolwork to do?" I asked her. 

"I finished all of it," She said. 

"Are you lying?"

"No. I can show you."

"I believe you."

Melissa fell down onto the ground and started whining. She always got frustrated when she fell onto the ground. She wanted to walk so bad. Sometimes she would move her foot, but she would never take a step. She would just lift it off of the ground. 

I saw Donald place the phone back and walk over to us. That made me upset that my phone call with Kurt was wasted. 

"I must be going now," He said. "Thank you for letting me talk to my son."

He just walked out of the house. I locked the door behind him and ran to the phone to try and call Kurt back, but I didn't know what his number of the hotel was. 

"Goddamnit," I sighed and sat back down on the floor. 

I had to process all that happened. His father was in here for one second and then just gone the next. What did he want to say to Kurt? Did something happen? Was he mad at him or was he proud of him? I couldn't really tell what his mood was while he was on the phone with Kurt, though. 

It was all a mystery that would have to be solved a different day.