It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 85

January 26, 1993

It took us a whole day to get back home. The whole flight, I just slept. Then, as soon we landed, we immediately drove to our house. Dave brought Jennifer back home with her. I was surprised that she was willing to do that for him-especially since they had just met-but at the same time it made me really happy for him. 

Kurt and I switched halfway through driving to our house. We were both so lazy that we were tired. It was complicated. But as soon as we arrived at the house, I was excited to see my babies. 

I ran out of the car, unlocked the door with my key, and threw it open. Lorelai was standing in the living room while talking to my mother. 

"MOMMY!" She screamed at the top of her lungs and ran towards me. 

Best feeling ever. 

I picked her up and spun her around, kissing her all over. "Oh my! I've missed you so much!"

She was crying. "I didn't think that you were going to come back."

I brushed the hair out of her face. "I'll always come back, okay? Always. Did you have fun?!"

She jumped off of me, kicking me in the abdomen, and ran to Kurt. 

"DADDY!" She screamed once again.

I walked over to Melissa and held her. "Hi baby. Hi. You missed Mommy, didn't you?"

She fit perfectly into my arms. It was if she was meant to be there. 

"Thank you guys so much," I gave my parents a side hug. "You don't know how bad we needed this."

"You're very welcome," My dad stood up and stretched his legs. 

"Were they good?"

"They were very good," My mother smiled. "Lorelai was the real boss, weren't you?"

She did a military salute. "Sir, yes sir."

I chuckled and looked at Kurt. He was giving me a look that was saying, "Tell your parents". 

"We actually have something to tell you," I sat down on the couch. "I think it's best that you guys sit down, too."

"Let me hold the baby," Kurt stole her from me. I had a feeling that we were going to be doing a lot of holding her over the next couple of days. 

"Good or bad?" My mother asked. 

"Both, I guess?" I shrugged my shoulders. "You know how Kurt proposed to me, right? Well, this week was really hard on us. Well, not the week, just the concerts. It was very...stressful. Kurt wasn't feeling his best and there was a lot of pressure, but we made it through and Kurt brought up a point."

Kurt cleared his throat. "I'm going to be gone a lot this year with the new record coming out and we're going to be going on tour, so, I brought up the idea of getting married. We could get legally married in Rio and then we could have a ceremony when we come back."

"Did you guys do that?" My mom leaned forward, pressing her nails into the palm of her hands. 

"Yeah," I replied. "We did a little mini-wedding in Rio."

There was a long pause. 

It felt like forever. 

Then, I could hear my mom start to cry. "You're my only child, Ruby! You do realize that we're only ever going to experience one wedding, right?!"

"That's the plan," I jokingly said. 

"Ruby, this is no time for joking around. I only get to experience one wedding with you and now that's ruined!"

"No it's not, Mom. We're still going to have a ceremony and everything. The only difference is that we're already married."

She sighed heavily. Now she was crying. "I wanted to be there for you when you first got married! That was a very selfish thing that you two did! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! We're leaving. We're leaving. Goodbye."

Her and my father walked out of the house without saying another word. I didn't even know if my father was upset or not.

I felt ashamed of myself. It was a selfish thing to do. I wasn't thinking clearly. 

"She's just emotional right now," Kurt told me. "Don't worry, okay?"

"But I upset her, Kurt."

"I know, but that's okay. It's healthy for people to be upset sometimes."

"She's mad at me."

"She'll get over it. She just didn't want to miss out on it."

"She's not going to miss out on it," I told myself. "She's not."

"You're right."

I stood up and sighed. "Now we have to tell your mother and sister."