It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 23

December 18, 1991

"She's been off since yesterday," I heard my mom and Kurt talking outside of my bedroom door. 

After dropping the man off yesterday, I went into my room and laid down on the bed. I had been there since. 

I could have died and that terrified me. If I didn't help him, I could have died-or Lorelai. 

There was a knock on the door and my mom and Kurt both came in. 

"What's wrong, baby?" My mom rubbed my arm. 

"I'm fine," I lied. 

Kurt sat down next to me. "Come on."

I sighed and sat up. "When I dropped off the man at his house yesterday, he told me that he was going to take me back to his house (After he got the stitches), rape me, then murder me. But he didn't because I was so nice to him."

"You're being serious?" Kurt asked. 

I cried and nodded my head. "I'm being serious, Kurt."

My mom started crying and walked out of the room. 

"He knows where I live, Kurt! What if he gets to Lorelai or-"

"Hey, come here," He hugged me and rubbed my arm. "I can promise you that nothing is going to happen to you. I'm going to be here and I'm not going anywhere."

"But you have to go on tour again."

"Don't think about that right now. Who knows? He could have just been bluffing."

"I don't think so. I'm so scared, Kurt."

"It's okay," He kissed the top of my head. "Nothing happened to you and that's all that matters. This is a prime example of how kindness is key."

"Kindness is key?!" I laughed. 

"I don't fucking know. But, Ruby, I promise you that I won't let anything happen to you. And neither will Dave or Krist or your parents."

"What about Lorelai? Will she be okay?"

"She'll be okay, Ruby. I promise you that. Why don't we go call the police and-"

"I can't. I don't know where he lives and I don't have a name for him."

That was a lie. If the man found out that I ratted him to the police, who knows what would happen?

"Christmas is in a couple of days, Kurt," I explained. "I don't want anything bad to happen. I want to enjoy everything."

"Alright," He kissed me. "I love you, Ruby."

"I love you, too."

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"Don't go helping random strangers anymore," Krist told me after I told him what the man said. "Not everyone is like that-some just won't give a fuck."

Dave just walked over to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back and I could feel him softly cry. 

"I don't want anything to happen to you," He whimpered. 

"I'm right here," I let go of him and smiled. "I'll always be right here."

"No more going on walks by yourself," My dad said. "And no more taking Lorelai with you unless another man is with you."

"A man?! That's sexist, Dad."

"Could you fight off another man?"

"No."

"Until you can, another man will go with you."

"Look at Krist and Kurt and Dave. Would they be able to fight off a man?!"

"We could do it better than you could," Dave stuck out his tongue. 

It was true. I didn't have any experience and men naturally are bigger than women and stronger. At least I wouldn't have to always worry about protecting my significant other. 

"I'm just glad nothing happened to Lorelai," I sighed. "What if something did?! That thought always crosses my mind."

Kurt hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek. "Nothing bad will happen, Ruby."

"Look at your song 'Polly'. That really happened, Kurt."

"Yes, but look at you. You are surrounded by people that won't let anything bad happen to you, Ruby."

"He's right," My mom stood up and hugged me. "We've been protecting you since you were a baby and we always will. Even if we're in Florida, we're still thinking about you."

"Mom, you guys should move down here."

"We've been thinking about it."

"REALLY?!"

"Yes, but we don't know for sure."

I smiled. "Okay."

I walked back into my bedroom and laid down-I didn't have to worry about Lorelai since she was in daycare. 

"I'm scared, Ruby," I heard Kurt say as the door shut. 

"Why?" I opened up my arms for him to lay in. 

He laid down on my lap and I ran my fingers through his hair, attempting to calm him down. 

"You could have died, Ruby," He started tearing him up. "Do you understand how scary that is?! I don't want to lose you, Ruby. And the fact that that disgusting, perverted, fuck of a man almost touched you makes me sick. I'm the only one who can touch you like that."

I kissed the top of his head. "It's scary, I know."

"Don't do that again, okay? Don't go helping random strangers-you don't know what their intentions are. What if that man was just lying to get you to go back to his house?"

"I know, I know. I'm going to be cautious."

"Ruby, a lot of guys want you-I know that. You are beautiful and you have a wonderful body-that's all they look for in girls. Then, they'll snatch them up and do whatever they please to the women. Please don't end up like Ted Bundy's victims or anything."

"Kurt, you worry too much. I'll be fine-I promise."