It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 120

January 25, 1994

"Thank you for watching them," I hugged my parents once more, then my daughters. 

"You two go have fun," My mom said. 

"We will," Kurt placed a hand on my shoulder. 

"Alright, bye, we love you!" I said as Kurt and I walked out and into the car. 

The first place we went to was IHOP. We decided on eating brunch there. 

"One year today," I sighed as I took a bite of my pancake. "That is so crazy. It doesn't feel like a year."

"Remember: we're going to watch our wedding video tonight, okay?"

"Okay," I smiled, looking at him and admiring his beauty. "Your eyes are so beautiful, Kurt."

He placed his hands over his eyes. "There."

I scoffed and shoved a piece of egg into his mouth. 

"Hey!" He removed his hands from his eyes and stared at the mess that was on our table.  "What did you do that for?"

"You weren't eating," I chuckled. 

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After our brunch, we went to the Green Lake Park. We sat down on the bench as soon as we arrived and I took in what exactly was happening.

I was sitting down on a bench with the love of my life-the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. 

I looked at Kurt and I kissed him passionately. There was no one else around, so it made it easier to do. 

"Ruby," He placed his hand on the side of my face and rubbed his cheek up and down. "One year marriage."

"God," I chuckled. "You're so amazing, Kurt."

"I'm amazing? Look at you!"

"I can't."

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"I don't think so."

"I wrote a song for you. It's called 'Something in the Way' because your clothes are in the way of my humongous cock going inside of your-"

A woman walked by and covered her child's ears. Kurt and I looked at each other and started to cackle. I had to slap Kurt's arm because of how hard I was laughing. 

Moments like that with Kurt made everything worth it. It made me remember why I was still alive and why I still stayed with Kurt. I would always stay with Kurt and I would never leave him. I didn't want to divorce him-I would never want to do that. I couldn't believe that I actually thought about doing that. I wondered if he had ever thought about doing that. 

We ended up taking a stroll in the park, then drove home and picked up McDonald's for everyone back at the house. 

Kurt and I arrived home, quickly set down the food, grabbed ours, and rushed into our bedroom without anyone seeing us. We locked the door and turned on our wedding ceremony video. 

We sat down on the bed eating all of the food that we got and laughing that the awkward parts. 

"I can't believe I actually wore that," I chuckled. 

Watching the video got me really excited to have a wedding ceremony with him. Everything was set and we were going to have it in seven months. It was hard for me to believe, but I was looking forward to it. We deserved it after all that we had been through. 

During our entire relationship, we both had been through so much that it was too much for us to handle. But, we got through it and that shows how strong we were together. We were never going to leave each other because we needed each other. I mean, I wouldn't be where I was if it wasn't for Kurt. 

Kurt had given so much for Lorelai and I-it was unbelievable. Before Kurt and I met, Lorelai and I were just random people that were living and Kurt didn't even know that we existed. Then, one day we meet each other and our lives changed forever. Kurt had paid for the house for us, but he also gave us a lot that wasn't including money. He gave us our love and trust-which he betrayed, but I was regaining my trust for him. 

Looking at Kurt watching our video, I knew that he would never cheat on me again. He knew what he did and he knew he fucked up, but the family that we created together was his whole world-it was all he ever wanted. 

"Ruby, you are a spectacular person," Kurt faced me and said. "Do you know that? You gave me Melissa and Lorelai."

"So did you."

"No, you don't understand. You literally carried our children. They are alive because of you. God, the whole birth process is just astounding to me."

He laid down on his back and started going on a rant about birth, but I couldn't even pay attention-not when he was like that. He had no shirt on, but long plaid pants and his hands were beneath his head. He was staring up at the ceiling, but he was talking so passionately. 

Shortly after, we tucked in all of the girls, and then took a bath after we did that. We didn't have sex, though. We just laid down together and talked. 

We talked about what was going on in the world and what we wanted to do in the future. Kurt talked about his music career and I talked about having more kids and Kurt was on board with that. 

After the bath, we laid down in bed and turned on a random movie. 

"You smell nice," I whispered. 

"You look nice."

"Kurt, can we fuck?"

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"I mean, we are celebrating."

I got on top of him and started to kiss him while taking off his pants. 

Some people were lucky enough to be married to the love of their life. 

I was lucky enough to have Kurt.