It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 48

April 15, 1992

"I just don't think Kurt is the type to propose," I admitted to Shelli. 

"Why do you say that?"

"Because look at him. I don't think he wants that lifestyle."

"But do you want it? Listen, if he doesn't want to get married, that's fine. If you want to, that's also fine. But you two shouldn't be together then."

"Why not?"

"Because either you're going to be miserable or he's going to be miserable."

I groaned. Why did things have to be so difficult. 

"Talk to him about it."

"How am I going to be able to bring that up? 'Kurt, are you going to propose to me'? No."

"Ruby, come on."

"Sorry. I've been really moody lately."

"This is all your fault!" She pointed to my stomach. 

"Leave my baby alone!" I chuckled. 

"When are you going to find out the gender of your baby?"

"Two months maybe? I don't know. I want to find out soon, though. I can't wait any longer!"

"Did you know that Courtney's having a girl?"

"Yeah. But I don't want to talk about her and her junkie baby."

"Oh my God, Ruby!"

"Sorry, that was so rude," I grabbed a pair of socks that I needed from the rack. "It's nice to go to the store and not have a bunch of people surrounding you."

"I wouldn't be able to do what Kurt does. I'm surprised he can handle it."

"He doesn't handle it that well. But, guess what?"

"What?"

"My boobs are getting bigger again, so we have to go get some bras."

"Ooh!"

"I know, I'm so excited! I might go to a 'B'! Hopefully this time, they don't go back down to an 'A'."

We went to the bra section and I got a couple of 34B bras. 

"Only six?" Shelli asked. 

"Yeah. I don't really wear bras that often anyways."

We went to go pay and drove straight back to my house. As soon as we arrived, I rushed inside. 

"WE'RE HOME!" I shouted and Shelli plugged her ears. I was surprised she got inside as quick as I did.

Lorelai ran to me and hugged me. "Mommy!"

"She's going into kindergarten this year," I sighed. "You're growing up so quick! Stop growing!"

"Look who came home!" Kurt came downstairs with the camera in his hands. 

"Why are you recording us?" Shelli asked. 

I smiled and walked up to him and kissed him. "I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too."

"I'm going to go take a shower," I whispered in his ear. "Want to join?"

"Of course," He smirked and was about to turn off the camera. 

"You don't have to stop recording, Kurt."

He smirked at me. "Then I won't."

"Shelli," I turned to face her. "We're going to go do something really quick. Can you stay downstairs with Lorelai?"