It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 9

May 29, 1991

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yelled. 

"What?!" Kurt exclaimed. 

"YOU'RE LEAVING?!"

"Well, yeah! I have to record-I told you this."

"You're leaving tomorrow!"

"Not just me."

"Well, yeah, Dave and Krist are going with you."

"So are you and Lorelai."

"No we're not."

"I already bought everything."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"What?"

"I have a job here and I-"

"I talked to them about it. I literally have everything planned out. All you have to do is say 'yes'."

"Kurt, I don't know. I want to, but-"

"It'll give you a chance to get out of this shithole."

"Excuse me, but this shithole is my house."

"I'm sorry. But, please?"

"Why should I? Give me one good reason and I will go."

"I'll be there."

"Yeah, not good enough. I've gone my whole life without you. Give me another reason."

"Wow!"

I chuckled. "I'm just giving you a hard time. One reason, Kurt."

"Umm, ummm-"

"Five-"

"Wait!"

"Four. Three. Tw-"

"You can record something there!"

"On-What?"

"You can record something there. There will be multiple guitars there. You can record something if you wanted."

"Why would I want to record something?"

"You and I could record us playing the guitar together or something. We'll have it forever."

I could've recorded something in my apartment if I really wanted. But it would be something different there-the atmosphere, the instruments, the technology, the smell, everything. 

Something was telling me to say yes, so I told him, "I'll go. We'll go."

He smiled and hugged me, then started kissing me all over my face. 

"Kurt!" I giggled. "Stop it!"

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June 1, 1991

I woke up in the hotel and smiled as I saw Lorelai sleeping softly next to me. She was so adorable. I was so lucky to have her as my daughter. I needed her in my life. Without her, I wouldn't have been alive-I would have given up after Robert died. 

Lorelai is literally the reason I am alive. 

I slowly got out of bed and checked the time to see that it was five in the morning. I groaned softly, but saw that Kurt was on the couch. I smiled at the sight of him, but that smile slowly faded away as I saw a little red spot on his arm. 

I lifted up his arm softly and saw that there were multiple dots. I knew exactly what those were. 

I couldn't believe it though. I looked around for any sign of usage, but there was nothing. I looked back at Kurt and saw that he was sound asleep and that bothered me. He didn't even tell me.