It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 10

June 5, 1991

Things were back to normal after I found out what Kurt had been doing. He told Krist and Dave about it. Were they happy? No, but they were happy that he was stopping. 

"Want to go swimming?" I asked Lorelai. "It'll just be us two."

"Yay!" She squealed. 

I grabbed both of our bathing suits and we put them on. I put my hair up in a bun, put my sandals on, grabbed my sunglasses, and put them on. Lorelai grabbed her sunglasses, then grabbed my hand and we walked out, making sure to lock the door. 

When we walked outside, I noticed that there were a ton of people there-it was summer vacation for students, why wouldn't they be here? 

"Mommy?" Lorelai asked me. 

"Yeah?"

"Can you hold me?"

I picked her up and rested her on my hip. We walked over to a couple of seats, set our stuff down, then I walked up to a lifeguard. 

"Do you have any floaties?" I asked. 

"Let me grab you one," He walked away, then came back and put it on her. 

"Mommy, come on," She started running, but I pulled her back. 

"No running, you could slip and fall-that would be bad."

We stepped into the pool and Lorelai started swimming-that was her favorite thing to do. Whenever we got the chance to swim, she would swim for hours. I felt bad that she didn't have any siblings, she would enjoy it so much more. 

"Mommy, come get me!" She kicked her feet in the water, splashing anyone that came near her. 

I laughed as I swam with her. 

Lorelai brought so much joy into my life-I couldn't even begin to explain how much happier she made me. Sure, she would cry, but she was smart and knew how to vocalize how she was feeling. If she got hurt, she would point to where she got hurt. If she was scared, she would say why she was scared. If she was throwing a fit, she wouldn't say anything-I would just be able to tell by the different way she was crying. 

Lorelai laid on her back and closed her eyes. I smiled at her, but quickly realized that she was about to hit a wall. I yelled her name and tried to run to her, but I was in water-the water was moving against me. 

A man heard all the commotion and saw that she was about to hit the wall, so he grabbed her before she could. I sighed in relief. 

"Thank you so much," I said, grabbed her from him. 

"You're welcome," He winked at me. "Anytime you need anything, just let me know."

"Okay," I swam away from him-he was making me a little uncomfortable, but I didn't think too much of it. 

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I put a towel on the edge of the pool, then sat down and stuck my feet in the water. Lorelai and I were in the deep end of the pool-away from a lot of people.

"Are you having fun?" I asked her. 

"Yeah, but I'm hungry."

"We'll eat soon."

There were other kids her age swimming, so I told her to go talk to them. 

"Okay," She kicked her feet swimming to them, but splashed me in the process.