It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 143

April 5, 1994

I woke up with Kurt's arm wrapped around my bare chest. I smiled, but took it off of me and went to the bathroom. 

I brushed my hair and teeth and got dressed for the day. I went into the kitchen and checked in the pantry to see if there was anything to eat for breakfast. 

There wasn't. 

I checked to see if there was anything for lunch, but we were almost out of everything. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and started writing down things we needed to get from the store. 

I sighed, realizing that meant that I would actually have to go to the grocery store. I went up into our bedroom and saw that Kurt was still sleeping. 

I softly nudged him. "Hey, Kurt."

"Hm?" He asked, turning over and wiping his eyes. 

"I'm going to go to the grocery store, alright?"

"Okay," He softly nodded his head. 

"Do you need anything from there?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Would you like to come with?"

"Not today. I'm super tired. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I gave him a kiss. "I love you. I'll be back."

"I love you too, Ruby," Kurt said. "I'll see you later."

I shut the door behind me and walked back downstairs. I decided to call Dave. 

"Hello?" He answered. 

"Wait, what the fuck are you doing up?"

"It's ten, Ruby. What are you talking about?"

"Silly me," I chuckled. "I thought it was earlier. Um, do you want to come with me to the grocery store?"

"Why don't you have Kurt go with you?"

I sighed. "He is sleeping, now do you want to go or not?"

"I'll be at your house in ten minutes."

He was, in fact, at my house in ten minutes. I got into his car with him, making sure to bring my list, and we drove to the store. 

"You seem happy," He noticed. 

"I am happy. I feel like things are coming together, Dave. Kurt and I didn't argue yesterday. We saw the girls-all of them-and then we had a little alone time and we talked for a very long time. I feel like he really wants to try and start over again."

"Are you doing better?"

"I'm better as long as he's doing better."

"That's not the mentality you should be going with. You should be able to do better on your own."

I touched his shoulder. "I'm doing better, Dave. I'm sorry for how I've been acting the past couple of months. I know that I've been really difficult to deal with lately."

"It's nothing new," He joked, but I knew that he was telling the truth. 

I was a difficult person to deal with at times. I had been told that my whole life. I always fought back. If someone said something that I disagreed with, I would always be sure to fight back. It was funny how Robert and Kurt were similar in the way that they wouldn't fight back. They would shut their mouths. I was a very petty person and I liked seeing people pay for things that they did. Maybe I should've been a police officer.