It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 106

December 31, 1993

I placed my hand over my mouth, trying to make my breathing quieter. 

"Found you!" Lorelai shouted. 

"Oh dang it," Kurt sighed. 

"Where's Mommy?"

"I'm not telling you. Let's go look for her."

"Let's check under the bed."

Lorelai lifted up the blanket and I screamed, "BOO!" which scared her and caused her to scream. 

I grabbed her leg before she could run away and dragged her under the bed with me while she screamed. 

"Say bye to Daddy!" I yelled. 

"Daddy! Help!" She cried out for him. 

He grabbed her legs and tried grabbing her, but acted as if I was pulling too hard. 

"She's too strong!" He yelled. 

I let go of her legs and crawled out from under the bed. 

"Try to get me!" She ran into the main room. 

Kurt helped me stand up. "Are you ready to go?"

"I don't know if I want to go just yet. We have a bad history with concerts, Kurt."

"I think it was just the brown hair. And besides, the past two concerts went pretty well."

I smiled and kissed him. "This also isn't the most ideal way to spend New Year's."

"Just be glad you're with me."

"I am. Where's Gretchen?"

"She's in the bathroom with Melissa changing her diaper."

"She doesn't have to do that."

Gretchen came with us to California for Nirvana's last concerts of the year. We needed a babysitter for the little ones and Gretchen offered to watch them for us. Not only did she want to go on a vacation, but she also loved Melissa and Lorelai. It was better having her watch them than hiring someone we barely even knew to come back to the hotel alone with our kids. 

We all got into the car once Gretchen finished changing her diaper and drove to the venue.

As soon as we arrived, Dave saw me and helped gather things inside. Kurt led us inside and into the stage. It was a huge stage. We all sat on the stage while we waited for them to set everything up.

Lorelai took the opportunity to scream as loud as she could. 

"Smoke a couple cigarettes and you'll sound just like Kurt," I chuckled softly to myself. I wanted to say, 'you'll sound just like your dad', but that sounded wrong.

"Ruby, come here," Kurt took my hand in his and started to dance with me. "Sing a song."

"I don't know-"

"Kiss, kiss, Molly's lips!" Kurt started singing. 

"Kurt, shush."

"Kiss, kiss, Molly's lips! Girls, come on, get in here!"

Lorelai and Melissa ran up to us and we all got into a big circle as we swayed back and forth. 

Ever since the argument Kurt and I had on Christmas, he seemed to be doing happier. Sometimes bad things needed to happen for good things to happen. We needed that argument to get out how he was feeling about the whole situation with Robert.