It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 50

August 17, 1992

We were sitting down on our couch as a family watching the T.V. 

I was super pregnant. It was crazy how I was going through the same stuff again with being pregnant. Things were very difficult and different. But with Kurt Cobain as your boyfriend, things would never be that simple. 

"You look so weird with your short hair!" I pointed out to Kurt for the millionth time. 

"I look beautiful."

"No, no, it just looks unnatural. Like, I'm not used to seeing you with short hair."

"I know what you mean, Ruby," He chuckled.

Just then, the phone rang. 

"Can you get-"

He was already up before I could finish my sentence. 

"You have reached the Cobain residence," He spoke into the phone using one of his high-pitched voices. "Yes, this is he." His voice grew serious. "She what? Oh shit!"

He slammed the phone down and flew upstairs. 

"Daddy said a bad word," Lorelai said. 

"Don't repeat it," I walked towards the stairs and heard rustling around coming form our bedroom. "Kurt!"

Our bedroom door flew open and I felt a rustle of wind brush past me. It took me a second to comprehend that it was Kurt. 

"Kurt, what's going on?" 

He grabbed his shoes from the laundry room and put them on, tying them quickly. 

"Court-Jesus," He was out of breath. "I'll be back."

And then he left. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What do you think happened?" I asked Dave as he helped me clean up the kitchen. 

"I don't know, Ruby."

"He said 'Court' and then stopped talking."

"Ruby, I don't know," He didn't care. 

There was a lot of tension between Dave and Kurt. They went out together one night a couple days after Kurt got his hair dyed to just hang out, but after they came back, things weren't the same. There was tension. They never came out and said that there was something wrong or even if something happened, but we (Shelli, Krist, and I) could tell.

"Don't take your anger out on me, Dave."

"I'm sorry."

"Turn on the radio."

"Okay. What station?"

"Whichever station that has good music."

He flipped the station, but as always, there was no good music on. 

"What's Lorelai doing?" He asked. 

"She's upstairs playing with her toys."

"Oh."

"What's going on, Dave?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since that night you went out with Kurt, things have been different between us-"

"No they haven't."

"I wasn't done speaking. Dave, you've been so fucking distant from me. Honestly, I'm surprised you even came over."