It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 125

I shut the door softly and went back downstairs. 

"Sorry, I'll make you guys some grilled cheeses, too," I told Shelli and Jennifer.

"We ate before we came," Jennifer told me. "It's alright."

"What'd you guys eat?"

"Tamales."

"You know, I don't really like Mexican food."

"You're insane!" Shelli lightly shoved me. "Krist makes the best enchiladas."

"No he doesn't," I stuck my tongue out at her. "He doesn't know how to make anything. What are you even talking about?"

After Thom, Lorelai, and I finished eating, I cleaned up our mess and we all went into the living room to talk amongst each other. 

Lorelai grabbed her Barbie dolls and played with them on the coffee table. 

"Is that Melissa?" Shelli asked. 

I stuck my neck to the side closer to the stairs to see if I could hear crying. 

I could. 

I ran into her bedroom and opened the door to find her standing on her feet and gripping the edge of the crib. As soon as she saw me, she stopped crying, giggled, and started jumping. 

"Sweetie, don't jump," I softly said and took her into my arms and cradled her. "Are you sick?"

She made a noise. 

I brought her back downstairs and explained to Shelli and Jennifer what happened at the park. 

"Is she okay?" Jennifer asked. 

"Yeah, she seems to be doing better," I put her down on the ground, but she just started crying, so I picked her back up. "She just wants her momma."

"She was crying really hard after she threw up," Lorelai felt the need to say. 

"Yes she did," I lightly chuckled. 

"I don't ever throw up, though, because I don't get sick."

"You're lucky," Shelli said. 

"Shelli, are you and Krist going to ever have kids?" I asked her. 

"Probably not when he's gone this much. I don't think I would be able to do it on my own. Not only that, but Krist is way too immature to have kids."

"I can tell that Dave wants kids-not now but in the future," Jennifer added. "The way he interacts with Lorelai, you can tell that he does."

"He has an attachment to Lorelai because of Robert," I told her. "Dave and Robert didn't always get along the best, but they were still friends. Once we had her, Dave was very involved with her life and that was when he started to come around more-was when he saw how Robert interacted with Lorelai. He was a good dad."

"Dave talks about Robert occasionally," Jennifer said. 

"Who's Robert?" Thom asked. 

"Lorelai's dad-the one that killed himself," I whispered to him. 

"He misses him," Jennifer continued. "But he feels like he has no room to talk because of you."

"Me?" I asked. "What did I do?"

"No, no, because it affected you more."

I shook my head. I never would've wanted Dave to feel that way. Dave had every much of a right to be upset as I did. 

I was going to talk to him about how he felt about Robert when he got back from the tour. 

"Is she doing okay?" Thom asked about Melissa.