It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 66

"Ruby," He croaked. 

"Don't," I said. I didn't want him to speak. He didn't deserve to. 

I cried as I looked at him. He was so abnormally skinny and his skin was pale. 

"Are you okay?" I whispered as I walked over to the side of his bed. 

"No."

"I figured. Your daughter is with Dave right now. She's right outside of this room."

His eyes lit up. "Can I see her?"

"No. You and I are going to have a talk," I sat down after setting down a chair next to him. "You're a fucking idiot. Fuck you, Kurt. Do you understand that you've done this again?! This is the second time in our relationship that you have done this!"

"I know and-"

"Shut up, Kurt. Shut the fuck up. I am so angry at you right now."

My hands trembled and I stood up. 

"I can't even look at you," I walked out of the room and took Melissa out of her carseat and walked away. "You go talk to him, Dave!"

I went to go walk outside, but I could hear the news reporters and anchors and the cameras from the window. God, fuck them. I didn't know where to go, so I just sat down in one of the waiting room chairs and slowly started crying while rocking Melissa back and forth. It happened again. He overdosed again after he promised me that he wouldn't ever do that shit again. I looked down at Melissa and saw that she was looking at me. Her eyes were big and blue, just like her father's. 

Maybe I just wasn't ready to see Kurt yet, but that was when I saw Courtney rush inside. 

What the fuck was she doing here? As soon as she noticed me, she gave me this death glare. Her voice was so loud that I could hear her ask the receptionist where Kurt was. The receptionist told her that she had to wait until someone left the room-there were only a limited amount of people that were permitted to be in the room at a time which was funny since Dave was the only one in the room, but maybe the receptionist didn't see me. 

I walked over to Kurt's room and made the decision that I was going to leave the hospital and go back home. Well, Dave's house. I didn't want to go into the same house that Kurt had overdosed in. Not yet at least. 

"Where's the carseat?" I asked Dave who was inside of the room, talking to Kurt. 

But I ignored his answer as I saw where it was. I put Melissa in the car seat and buckled her while I tried to ignore Kurt asking where I was going. 

"Ruby, please don't ignore me," He started crying. 

My heart broke when he said that. All I wanted to do was hug him and kiss him and have him tell me that it would be okay, but I wanted him to understand that this was the last straw. There were definitely going to be some consequences that would be occurring as soon as he left the hospital. 

"Dave, are you ready to leave?" I asked. 

"Ruby," Kurt whispered. 

"Um, yeah, I-I am," He answered. 

"Can you please go get the car ready while I have a moment alone with Kurt?" I stood up.

Dave hugged Kurt. "Goodbye."

Dave took the carseat and left. I looked at Kurt and started crying. 

"Ruby, please don't leave," He begged. "Please. I don't want to be here all by myself; I'll have no one."

Just then, I could hear high-heels clicking against the floor. The door slammed against the wall and I knew that it was Courtney. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She probably asked me, but I ignored her. 

"I'll be leaving, then," I said. 

"Ruby, please don't," Kurt said. 

"I'm so fucking angry with you! Please don't!" I started sobbing. "You fucking broke me yet again! First you tell me that you don't even fucking know why you're with me and then you go and pull this shit! If you choose drugs over me, then we're fucking done! But your fucking kids?! Your kids?! They could've lost their father! That would be the second fucking time Lorelai would lose someone! You made this happen! You did this to yourself! I'll be back later, but as of right now, fuck you!" 

I was about to leave, but I kissed him softly. He didn't kiss me back though. He was probably angry with me. 

On my way out, Courtney glared at me, so I kicked her heels, causing her to fall down. I smirked and chuckled on my way out, but the smirk faded away as I started crying. 

"Fuck you, bitch!" Courtney shouted. 

I was leaving Kurt yet again.