It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 48

"Of course."

"Thanks."

Kurt and I ran to the bathroom and we slammed our door, laughing and immediately undressing as if we were drunk and getting ready to sleep with each other. 

"No sex," I told Kurt. 

"What?" He asked. "Come on!"

"No. I don't like that."

"Why not?"

"It just disgusts me."

I turned on the shower as he faced the camera towards it. 

"Ruby?" He asked me. 

"Yeah?"

"You are so beautiful."

I smiled and got butterflies. "You are, too."

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I woke up that night and couldn't see anything. Everything was black. I felt around me and felt the comforter and looked to the side and I could make out the outline of my dresser. I was in bed. I looked beside me and heard Kurt snoring very loudly. I shoved him to wake him up and tell him to stop, but he wasn't waking up (he was a heavy sleeper). 

Just then, I heard the front door creak open and heavy footsteps hit the tile. 

"Shut up!" Someone hissed. 

My heart stopped. I couldn't recognize that voice. Someone was downstairs. Our bedroom door was shut, but Lorelai was still in her bedroom. 

Lorelai. 

Oh God. I got up from my bed and ran to her bedroom using my tiptoes so I wouldn't make any noise. I picked her up and threw a blanket around her so that if she made any noise, the people downstairs wouldn't hear. I ran back to my bedroom, shut the door, and I locked it. I set her down in my bed and she was still asleep. I shook Kurt violently. 

"Wake up," I said in his ear. I slapped his face as one point and that woke him up. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but I covered it so that the people wouldn't hear. 

"They broke in," I whispered. 

"Who?" He looked startled and sat up. 

"I don't know."

He gasped. "Lorelai-"

"Is right next to you."

"Go with her in a different room and lock the door."

"Where are you going?"

"To get my shotgun from the closet."

"But Kurt, they might kill you."

"Ruby, listen to me and go do it."

I started crying and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

I grabbed Lorelai, unlocked the door, and slammed it open to run into Lorelai's bedroom. By now, she was awake. I shut her door and locked it and hid her underneath her bed. I put a pillow underneath her head and she fell back asleep. 

She looked so peaceful and calm. I hated this so much. I hoped that she would make it out alive. I didn't want her to get hurt. I wouldn't let them touch her. Over my dead fucking body. I draped her blanket over the bed so they wouldn't see her and I hid in her closet. 

I was shaking profusely and my breath was hitching. I was terrified and I couldn't think straight. I was surprised that I had even thought through what just happened. 

Then the worst happened. 

There was a gunshot and I could hear screaming-males. I couldn't tell if it was Kurt or anyone else but all I knew was that people were getting hurt. I hoped to God that Kurt was okay. I started praying and hoped that everything would be alright. It took all of my strength to stay put and not go out there and defend Kurt. 

My stomach dropped as I heard the doorknob rattle. It was Lorelai's door's doorknob. I placed my hand over my mouth and bit my fingers as an attempt to calm me down but no words could possibly describe the amount of fear that I felt in that moment. 

"YOUR BOYFRIEND'S DEAD!" Someone shouted. "JUST OPEN UP THE DOOR AND WE WON'T HURT YOU; UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE HIM!"

They were bluffing. They had to be. 

"I GUESS YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE!" They shouted, not even giving me a second to respond or answer. 

They kicked the door down and went looking in the bed and pulling the blankets off. 

"Mommy?" Lorelai asked. 

Shit. Fuck. No. No. Not Lorelai. No.

As I watched them lift up her blanket, I grabbed a metal hanger and ran out, stabbing it in the man's back before they could touch Lorelai. My head was pulled back and I felt immense pain as I realized that my head was being pulled. There were screams-loud screams filling the room. I yelled for them to stop. I begged, I pleaded, but they weren't listening even as I started crying. 

They pulled my hands behind my back and watched as a man held a gun to Lorelai's head. 

"NO!" I screamed. "NOT HER! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER! DON'T TOUCH HER! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! PLEASE! KILL ME INSTEAD!"

The man took the gun off of Lorelai's head and put it on mine. 

"What are your last words?" The man asked me. 

"Close your eyes, Lorelai," I told her. "This will all go away."

And then, with no hesitation, there was a gunshot.