The Holiday That Changed My Life

Part One Hundred and Sixty Three

Astons P.O.V.

I nipped to the hospital gift shop and picked up a few bits and bobs for Luce and the girls, just little bits of something. I eventually found myself outside of the room where my family was, thinking about exactly that. Family. I have a family.

I took a deep breath and pushed my way into the room, only to see the bed empty and my two little girls lay in their separate cots on the right hand side.

"Hey," I smiled as I left the bag on the end of the bed and sat in between them. "Where's your Mummy?..That's a stupid question, how are you supposed to know?"

"Look how gorgeous you both are," I tutted, reaching a hand into both of the cots and letting my daughters wrap both of their tiny hands around my fingers. "So so beautiful..but then again, I am your dad right?" I chuckled, rubbing my thumbs over the top of their hands.

Normal View

How could he just leave? He literally just upped and left! We've both been so excited for this since we found out, and we were overwhelmed when we saw them for the first time, so what changed?

Aston had been gone for a good ten minutes and I was in desperate need for the toilet. So I made sure that the girls were safely lay in their cots before going into the en suite and using the toilet. I was about to leave when I heard the sound of Astons voice.

"Look how gorgeous you are, so so beautiful..but then again, I am your dad right?"

I scoffed quietly to myself and rolled my eyes before I carried on listening, to see what he had to say for himself.

"I'm so sorry I left you, even if it was for ten minutes," Aston sighed. "I guess, I just panicked. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to look after the pair of you. I mean, your mum is gonna absolutely run rings around me, she's gonna be an absolute natural. And then you've got your idiot of a dad who doesn't even know how to change a nappy...I know you can't understand me, you're only two hours old, but I love you two so much and I'm gonna tell you that every single day...I'm not gonna be the best dad, I know that, but I'm gonna bloody try because you two deserve the absolute world, you really do. We've waited so long for you, and I'm not giving up on you now. Whether I'm a good dad or not, I'm always gonna be there. I promise."

"So who exactly are you making that promise to?" I asked as I pushed open the door, scaring the life out of Aston as he spun his head around to face me.

"Wha-Where'd you come from? I thought you'd-?"

"Thought I'd what? Left my kids?" I asked, folding my arms as Aston stood up and let go of the girls' hands which he must've been holding.

"Luce I'm so so so sorry." He started as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah." I sighed, walking over to the bed to check on the twins.

"I mean it, I even got the girls some-" Aston said as he pulled out two little teddies from the carrier bag at the end of my bed.

"And you think that's going to make up for the fact that you left them? Left me?"

"No," He sighed, throwing them back into the bag and sitting on the edge of the bed between the twins again. "Babe please just hear me out."

"Fine, but it better be good."

"When I couldn't figure out why Sophia was crying I panicked. If I can't even figure out why my own daughter's crying then how the hell am I supposed to be a half decent dad?"

"Ast you-"

"And then I got talking to some lad outside and he did the same thing when his oldest was born, and he's got three kids. He told me that he left for three weeks and it was the worst thing he'd ever done because now every time he looks at his daughter he feels this enormous amount of guilt. I don't want that, I don't want to feel guilty every time I look at my kids."

"It's a good job you came back then."

"What? That's it? No shouting? You're not gonna make me pay for a weekend in Paris?" Aston frowned as I sat up, pulling the hospital bed sheet up to my waist.

"What? Why would I make you do that?" I giggled as he shook his head and took my hand in his.

"Just, something I heard. But seriously, that's it?"

"Yeah, it was only ten minutes, I'll just pretend you were stuck on what to buy us," I winked as he chuckled at me, covering our hands with his spare hand. "So you had a little freak out, big deal. Every first time parent freaks out, I did when I had Lilly, your mum did when she had you."

"She did? How'd you know?"

"Your mum told me plenty of pregnancy stories," I laughed as Aston laughed with me. "Seriously, don't worry about it. I was a bit pissed at first but it's actually really really sweet that you panicked that much."

"What?"

"You love those two so much that it freaked you out because you were scared you couldn't look after them and give them what they need. It's really cute." I smiled as he looked back at the girls, snoozing away.

"I just don't want to mess this up." Aston sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You're not gonna mess this up, I know you won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because if you do, you'll get more than an earful." I smirked as Aston chuckled under his breath.

"I love you." He smiled, looking down at me.

"I love you too," I giggled before he softly pressed his lips against mine, just as Ava let out a cry. "Go on."

"But-"

"She doesn't need changing or feeding, figure it out." I told him as he let out a deep breath before getting up off the bed and scooping Ava up into his arms.

He tried rocking her at first but that didn't work at all, if anything it made her cry even more. He looked up at me with panic written across his face, so I just smiled at him and nodded my head, encouraging him to keep going. He lifted Ava up to rest on his shoulder, resting one hand on her back as he rocked her gently but again he got nothing. I could see him start to panic again, well, up until he rubbed Ava's back and she let out a burp and her crying subsided.

"Hey!" Aston laughed quietly, leaning his head back to see Ava's face. "Babe I did it!"

"See? I told you you could. You're just panicking for no reason."

"I don't want to let them down." He admitted as he moved over to stand by Sophia, who was still asleep in her little cot.

"And you're not going to, Ast you're a fantastic dad. You've got nothing to worry about."