The Holiday That Changed My Life

Part Sixty Four

For the rest of that night, me and Aston stayed up talking about everything and anything as long as it wasn't to do with Lilly. He'd managed to eventually figure out what to do for my birthday, he'd settled for a nice quiet meal for the two of us and then heading out to a club with everyone else afterwards. It was a bit much for me but Aston insisted that we celebrate properly.

But today was Tuesday. The date that I dread every single year. As I rolled over, I caught sight of the picture of Lilly on my bedside table, instantly setting me off, just as it does every year. I sat up and grabbed my phone off the table, reading through the numerous text messages from my family, sending their love for both me and Lilly, promising that they'll visit her once I've been. A text from Aston also amongst them,

[sending so much love to you today baby, I'll pick you up around two-ish yeah? thinking of you loads gorgeous! xx]

[thanks Ast, can we stop off at a florists first? xx]

[we can do anything you want xx]

I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, freshening up before picking out my outfit for the day. We were only going to a cemetery so I didn't bother too much, just a pair of jeans with a casual vest top and I'll stick my converse on later along with my jacket. I straightened my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail, hairspraying the loose bits into place before sticking a layer of makeup on, making the wise decision of using waterproof mascara.

I busied myself for the rest of the morning, cleaning or whatever, until I heard Astons car horn beep from outside, telling me that he was here. I slipped on my converse and grabbed my jacket off the banister before locking the front door behind me as I left the house to get into Astons car.

"Hey." I huffed, getting into his car as I closed the door behind me, throwing my jacket to my feet.

"Hey," Aston smiled sympathetically before leaning over and pressing a kiss against my lips.

"How you doing?" He asked, resting his hand on my knee.

"I don't know," I sighed, placing my hand on top of his. "I've already cried about five times already this morning if that's anything to go by."

"Well let's go buy her some flowers, and you can get rid of all your tears when we get there, so we don't have any on your birthday."

And with that, Aston started up the car and pulled off my driveway, heading off towards the closest flower shop. Aston sat in the car while I went inside and picked out a bunch of daises with these green plants within them. I got back into Astons car and he drove us to the cemetery. Once we got out, I passed the flowers to Aston while I put my jacket on, I went to take the flowers off Aston but instead he just took my hand in his, refusing to let me carry them before telling me to lead the way.

"Hey sweetheart," I sighed as we reached Lilly's gravestone, picking up the lifeless flowers and tossing them to one side before taking the new ones off Aston and putting them in neatly. "There you go, good as new!"

I sat down in front of her and Aston did the same, resting one hand on the bottom of my back as the other was holding my hand tightly on top of his legs.

"I brought someone to see you," I sniffed, wiping under my eyes with my free hand as Aston squeezed my hand. "His name's Aston. You never met him but I'm sure you would've loved him..he would've played with you all the time with how hyper he is," I giggled slightly as he laughed with me.

"I know what I said when I told you about Andy, but Ast's different, I promise."

"She's right Lilly, I'll look after your mum down here while you look after her from up there. Does that sound like a plan?..Thought so," Aston smiled as I smiled back at him before he pressed a gentle kiss against my lips. "You say what you want, I'll go sit over there."

"Okay," I said quietly before he kissed me again as he squeezed my hand at the same time.

"I don't even know how to start Lilly," I breathed out once Aston had moved away. "I've been doing this for five years and still don't know what I'm supposed to say to you...I guess the main thing, is that I love you so much," I whimpered as I could feel the lump forming in my throat.

"And I'm so sorry that you're not here. I really wish that you were. You'd love it here, you'd love Aston and I'm sure you'd be causing loads of trouble with him," I laughed softly as a tear slid down my face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening to you, you didn't deserve this," I cried gently, running my hand over the picture of Lilly on her headstone.

"You deserved so much more, you deserved a mum that looked after you properly and then this wouldn't have happened, I'm sorry I let you down...I miss you so much it's unreal." I sobbed, looking at her picture before crying into my hands.

"Come here," I heard Aston say as he sat back down beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I miss her so much Ast!"

"I know you do babe," He sighed before placing a kiss on my forehead. "I hate seeing you like this."

"Sorry." I said, trying to control my tears as I sat up.

"Don't, don't be sorry," He said sternly, taking both of my hands and shaking his head.

"She's always like this," Aston said, looking at Lilly's gravestone as he nodded his head in my direction. "I'm sure she'd drive you absolutely up the wall."

"Hey!" I giggled slightly as Astons face softened into a small smile.

"But you'd love her..She's got a big heart full of gold, always putting everyone else first," He said, still smiling softly.

"She's insanely talented, a brilliant cook...And I'll tell you now, she'd be your role model, because your mum is, without a doubt, the most amazing incredible woman. And I don't think I could love her any more if I tried." He smiled as I literally melted right there on the spot.

"I love you too." I smiled as another tear dripped down my face and Aston squeezed my hands.

"Sorry Lilly," Aston said, looking towards her and holding his hand in front of our faces before leaning forwards and pressing his lips against mine.