Hot Mello (Book 1)

Gun Moll (2)

*Y/N Pov*

I woke up, feeling groggy as usual. Being a person was too exhausting, and I literally did nothing. I realised there was something in my hand, I looked and saw Mello's rosary beads.

Weird...he never took them off, he wouldn't even let me try them on (not that I wanted to, I'd had enough of religion at school, but he'd said it when I'd tried on Matt's goggles)

I kind of half sat up then noticed a brown envelope beside me. I opened it and it was full of money.

"Mello, are you home?" I called.

There was no reply though I imagined him shouting "No, I'm homo!" I couldn't even laugh, I was too tired. I fell back on the pillow and tried to fall back asleep but I couldn't. My mind was going at ninety miles per hour and wouldn't stop. I knew something was wrong, I just didnt know what.

*Timeskip*

It was weeks later and Mello hadn't come back since that day I found the money and his rosary. I guess he'd finally had enough of me and left. I wasn't too surprised, just disappointed. Heart broken actually.

I blamed myself. I couldn't help my depression but if I'd coped better or tried harder, maybe he would have stayed. It couldn't have been much fun for him having to deal with me. I guess he left the money out of guilt but the rosary was more confusing.

I went outside as little as possible (I hardly did anymore anyway) but I was always on the lookout for him when I did. A few times I saw someone with similar blonde hair and my heart leapt, but it was never him. No facial scar that he hated but I thought made him even more attractive. No leather or chocolate, no one bitching at me but also loving me. I'd made him go away and it hurt like hell at first until I just turned numb to survive it.

In all those weeks I hadn't found out the truth. I never watched the news or paid attention to it, especially with feeling so down, so I hadn't even realised how big the Kira case was. Mello never told me much about it, or maybe he did but my mind was elsewhere. I didnt know how deeply he was involved in it either. So I never thought to check the news, it seemed so obvious later but I was barely functioning.

I had no friends or family, I'd already isolated myself so much. I'd completely withdrawn, Mello was the only one who still put up with me, until now anyway. Matt was nice to me but he was more Mello's friend.

It was Matt who gave me the clue. I was in a shop buying a few supplies (I still bought his chocolate in case he came back) waiting on the queue and bored, so I started looking through a newspaper. By then it was a good few pages in, with the older news.

I read the headline about an unidentified body with a photo of a red car. I knew that car, it was Matt's. I was called to the register, so I took the paper and paid for my stuff then hurried back to my empty home. I sat down and read through the article and the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

Matt had been killed in connection with the kidnapping of Kira's spokesperson. Both she and the kidnapper had died in a church fire.

You never got Matt without Mello, they came as a package, so I had no doubts as to who the kidnapper had been. I started crying as I realised I'd thought it in past tense.

Mello was gone, he'd really left me and he wasn't coming back, not ever. I put my head on the kitchen table and cried for what felt like days. I held onto his rosary the whole time, I'd been wearing it since he left, no - since he died.

It was hazy days after that. I barely existed. I still felt that if I'd been different, perhaps he wouldn't have gone so far. I couldn't blame him though. He'd left me for this Kira case and if that spokesperson wasn't already dead, I'd have found her down and destroyed her.

It fucking pissed me off that she got to die in the same place as him. She was the last person he saw, I hated her.

He should be still here with me. Mello, come back...it was only later again that I noticed the <3 written on the envelope.

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