Not So Nice Mello (1)

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I grew up in an orphanage called Wammy's House, which was also a school for gifted children. I was at a few other orphanages before Wammy's but had been bored by the schoolwork and people there. I was transferred when staff finally realised I was gifted.

I was quiet for my first few weeks there, I guess people assumed I was shy or stuck up maybe, but it took me some time to suss out the social side of new places. In other words, I preferred to size people up first.

The place was honestly just as boring as other places, the work was slightly more interesting but everything else seemed as dull and pointless as my whole young life (so far) had been.

I wasn't there long when another student arrived and my life started to have some kind of meaning. His name was Mello, he wore his blonde hair in a bob, his eyes were blue, the same colour as mine but his were beautiful. He always dressed in black and ate chocolate all the time. He had a badass attitude and soon managed to piss everyone off.

I'm not gonna lie, he was rude and scorpy as fuck. He would straight out insult people to their face, sometimes he yelled for no apparent reason, and his evil eye could kill someone dead. The shape of his eyes when he glared at people was amazing though (to me)

We had a weird kind of relationship. He was polite enough to me at first, but he irked me one day so I bitched back at him. Later that day, he tried to hug me.

"Don't touch me, I don't know where you've been!" I snapped at him. His mouth curled up in delight at my retort.

We became closer and would often sit with our arms around each other in practical classes that didn't require desks. We worked on a project together and our ideas were chosen for the main project that involved everyone.

I had started to develop feelings for him, but I suspected he was gay. I didn't tell him or anyone how I felt. My best friend Linda couldn't stand him, they didn't get along at all, so I didn't even want to tell her that I liked him, fearing she'd be disgusted.

I was walking around the yard with him one day, when he took my hand and we continued walking holding hands for a few minutes. It felt so nice but then he let go.

"We shouldn't hold hands, people might think I like girls, and that's not true."

So now I knew for sure, but it didn't change anything, only that we definitely couldn't be more than friends, but I could deal with that. I was used to it, guys I liked never liked me that way anyway. (Also, Mello you held my first lol)

Everything was good until a new student arrived. His name was Near, he was small with white hair and dressed in all white. Mello took an instant dislike to him, calling him a stupid albino sheep. However things got worse as Near quickly surpassed Mello and took Mello's number one spot at every subject. Mello became even more bitchy and even turned on me. He constantly taunted me and it killed me. I bitched right back at him, I wouldn't let him know it got to me. Others told me to ignore him, saying he only did it because my reactions amused him. I couldn't just let him put me down though, I was too proud.

I started feeling depressed most of the time, though I told no one. I was used to not mattering so I didn't think anyone would care. It was my own battle to fight, but I didn't know how. I spoke of it only once back then. I was lying on one of the living room couches, Mello was lying on the other one and I asked him if he ever got depressed.

"Yeah I do sometimes. But you just have to wait for it to pass." He replied.

"Ok, thanks."

I wanted to hug him and tell him I didn't know what I'd do without him, but I didn't. He wouldn't want that and he'd just think I was weird.

I waited and waited for the depression to pass but it didn't. I lost all confidence in my work, and though I was continously praised, I became convinced that everyone was secretly laughing at me and my work. I went from being chatty and bubbly, to barely speaking. As long as I did my work, no one cared to ask why I'd changed.

Everyone thought I hated Mello for how he treated me now. Part of me did, but my feelings for him were still there. He was still kind to me sometimes but horrible other times. It was a horrible situation to be in. I needed to get away from it all, but I couldn't just walk out of the orphanage.

I ended up leaving for good when Roger found me lying in a pool of my own blood. I'd blanked out and tried to committ suicide. I didn't remember what happened but they pieced it together with the evidence and I was sent to hospital.

It was goodbye to Wammy's House, goodbye to my friends there, and goodbye to Mello.

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