Keeping Promises (Trilogy to Earning His Love)

Just Get This Over With. Part 1.

I took Aaron for a walk to this coffee shop in the West Village so he wouldn't be bombarded with people asking him to sign things. I just wanted to get two hours out of him and that's it.

Aaron: Hey Sarah.
Me: Hi.
Aaron: Casey told me you wanted to talk to me?
Me: Yea, I do.
Aaron: About?
Me: Your mental health.
Aaron: What's wrong with it?
Me: Aaron you look miserable all the time like your cat died.
Aaron: Well maybe because I'm miserable because of all the pain I caused you and the kids. I couldn't see my own daughter again being born like I wasn't there for Sapphire. How do you think that makes me feel being a dad to kids I never got to see be born?!?
Me: Aaron I told you times are going to be tough but now you can be there for them. Rose is about to be one soon maybe you would like to plan her birthday party and we can help you along with Casey. As for Sapphire I know she is going to be getting married eventually and she would want her father to walk her down the aisle.
Aaron: I wish I had done better for the people that actually loved me and cared for me. Besides the kids look what I did to you. You loved me soo much Sarah and I hurt you to the point where you woke up every single day regretting to be alive. Conner and Sapphire told me you always woke up crying your eyes out because of how hurt you were and how painful it was to lose me again. Sarah what if I do that to Casey while I'm trying to mend things with people who really love me. Like my brother and my parents have faith in me to mend myself but I really need help. I'm always thinking negative thoughts like I want to kill myself and I want to wish I never walked on this earth. My own biological parents gave me up for adoption because they didn't even want me. I don't want Conner, Sapphire, Rose, and Jeter to feel abandoned like I was and felt. I'm even still feeling like I'm really not myself.

I looked at him and he had these tears running down his face and to be honest I never saw him like this before. Casey did say he was depressed but she didn't say it was this bad. I had to help him. Kevin was the only person I knew who would be able to help him but maybe I can bring him to Dr. Perkins to see if she could talk to him. He needed help because I didn't want him regretting himself or regretting life. Even how mad I was with him for the plenty of things he did wrong I didn't want to see him end his life. His kids needed him.

Me: I think you should talk to Kevin.
Aaron: Kevin who?
Me: Kevin Love. I talked to him and he helped me out. He helped out Vanessa Bryant with her husband and daughter passing and to be honest Aaron I know for a fact he can help you. Blake has gone through a lot of shit in the past and Kevin was able to help him also.
Aaron: Is there anyone closer I can talk to?
Me: My therapist Dr. Perkins. She's very good. Next time I go which is next week come with me. You can fill out some paperwork and talk to her.
Aaron: Thanks Sarah.
Me: Aaron I know for a fact you are a great person but you just let the wrong people into your life which your brother was telling you. I know how much you want to be there for your kids and we want you around even if others might not. I'm glad you mended things with Joey and Gerrit. They are there for you and I'm glad you want to go and get help. It is important. Aaron listen I really love you okay and I don't want you to suffer anymore. Just because I'm engaged to Blake doesn't mean I didn't stop loving you. I don't want you gone and I know how much Casey loves you and how much Kings and Junior love having you around.
Aaron: Thank you. 😭❤️

I pulled him in for a hug and this was the closure I know we both needed. I think it was going to be okay with us from now on and nothing was going to be awkward.

We took a cab back to mine and Blake's since everyone was there.

We walked in a couple of minutes later and Gerrit was there with Amy.

Gerrit: Hey you guys. How's everything?
Aaron: Hey everything is good man. Hi Caden.
Caden: Hi Aaron.
Amy: Hey Aaron.
Aaron: Hey Amy.

I went to sit on the couch with him and Blake pulled me into the kitchen just like Casey pulled Aaron into the bedroom.

Blake: Everything ok now?
Me: Yeah. Closure was good. He let out a good cry and he's fine. He's going to start going to Dr. Perkins with me and next time Kevin is in town I'm going to have him talk to him. He needs it honey.
Blake: I had a feeling he did. Good for him for coming to you.

I broke down into tears and Blake pulled me in for a hug.

Me: He thought about ending his life a couple of times.
Blake: Are you serious?!?
Me: Yeah. He just wants to be okay with those who care about him again.
Blake: Sarah you won't lose him. I know that and Casey knows that. You had a long relationship and marriage with him Sarah. Casey and I did have a thing and a bond but not as strong as your's and Aaron's. We can all help him Sarah. He's not alone.
Me: I told him that. I'm just worried about him and I know how weird that sounds since I'm engaged to you and he's dating Casey but what should I do Blake?
Blake: Have him come to you when he needs you. I said it to Casey when she was having issues. She's okay now but still Sarah it's okay to need again. We are all going through a lot and sometimes we always need that person to say "I'm here for you." You do that for him. No matter how much you are angry with him Sarah I know deep down how much you still love him and of course I'm okay with that. Boundaries are always in play but so is love. That's important.
Me: Thank you for understanding.
Blake: I love you and you're welcome.

I brought him in for a kiss and it was nice. 💕

In the next chapter I'm going to break down Aaron and Casey's conversation.