MENULIS

MENULIS DALAM BAHASA MELAYU?

WRITING IN MALAY

"Too bad... my Bahasa is not good... I felt stupid even trying to use it," a normal phrase lamented by so many Malaysian.

Some said the language is called Malay Language/Bahasa Melayu, as for me I am still with my idealistic notion that it is Bahasa Malaysia.Conversing with so many local writers during festivals of many sizes: The festivals, the attendees and the writer portfolios. The usual question will be 'Why don't you write in English?'

I guess there is no need for me to repeat that my written English is atrocious and I will not be fully satisfied expressing in that particular language. On many occasions, I tried my level best to express and explain whenever English is needed. I speak using Bahasa Malaysia with Northern Dialect and at times to be précised, some Indonesian words will automatically be blurted out (You know my background).

My reading material? A mixture of both languages. How will I be appreciative if I cannot understand English to enjoy Tash Aw, Salman Rushdie, Catherine Lim (my mentor), Amy Tan, Rehman Rashid and etc. Jargons found can always be referred to as the dictionary. Until today I will still be reading some translated pieces, journals from the UK and portals in English.

I attended some writing workshops, seminars at times meet and greet. Some are obviously in Bahasa Malaysia, but when I first started most meetings are conducted with a mixture of Bahasa Melayu and Simple English, I am okay as long it's conducive and contributing.

But due to a certain incident when I overheard someone I respected smirked (Ah! Writing in Malay leads to nowhere, along with conceited face to add the pain), mind you some earlier remarks of the same tone were from laymen (non-writers) and some people I don't really care. I quit attending small gatherings were so-called English writers meet. Not very sure if I was hurt or just being sour, but there is some kind of an unexplained feeling. Believe me, I am just human judging deep in my heart.

Mind you attending all those gatherings, I don't expect them to review or read my books. It was solely with purposes to build a solid friendship among writers, to encourage each other and maybe with the hope that if they are kind enough to share a tip or two about publishing, translating and it could just be a casual socializing. Don't you expect me to spill tea about their styles, material adopted in their storylines and content of their mediocre and below-average English writing? NO, I sincerely don't care!Here I wouldn't want to talk about Bahasa Malaysia as a national language. There is no point; I am not to champion that course. Writers in any country, in my mind they are free to express themselves in any desired language.The incident made me aware of how lightly I was carrying myself. Easily agree to attend any small/big literary function (not knowing that I will be taken just as a filler writer – nasi tambah). Now, that will not happen anymore. I am very caution with an invitation by now.

Writers in Malaysia regardless of what language we are using (Mandarin, Tamil, Bahasa Malaysia or English), they will have their own set of readers. Then come along the division of genres, locations and age groups. Get your work to be translated into a certain language if you think it will widen your horizons.

So what is the point of my rantings?

- Young local English writers so ambitious, self-engrossed wondering/ignoring/not interested in who you are after being introduced.- Perplexed look listening to a transwoman writer- Looking down at local product (meaning books in Malay)- Being unfriendly at gatherings knowing that we are using different language to write.

Personally, I think a writer using any language has to be respected. We will communicate orally at our level best in any language chosen. As usual, after a few incidents, maturities took over our decisions. Of course, I will still be attending literary festivals conducted in English, avoiding certain people with obvious shallow nasty ideas about Sastera Melayu and will keep improving on how to communicate better in both languages.

NOTE: I have met so many fantastic, respectful and wonderful Malaysian writers with a list of books and anthologies written in English. Chuah Guat Eng, Saras Manikam, Dina Zaman, Bernice Chauly, Julya Ooi, Zedeck Siew and many more...including some prominent translators, none of them look down at work written in Malay. By now you will understand on why I keep encouraging young Malaysian writers to work hard on becoming bi-lingual (at least you will not be smirked by any of them – nasty people who literally assume/compare/standardizing language as if it's a caste)

Go, stand and talk proving your self-worthiness.

... and if one day you feel like writing in English, why not?