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HOW WAS IT WRITING IN MALAYSIA?

HOW WAS IT WRITING IN MALAYSIA?

Embracing words, spellings, stories, arrangement, twists, feeding info and not wanting to be too unto your face! As simple as that!

It's hard to tell exactly when questioned. My former anticipation was just as pure as any young aspiring writers. Being happy to see one by one word and works of mine being published, and then I saw some....

It has answered so many questions about living life as a writer. Terribly different, unlike what we saw in feature movies about them... glamourizing typewriter, coffee, cats, fantastic meetings, romantic inclinations plus some nice conversations. Let me tell you, It didn't work that way, and by now I laughed out loud thinking about it.

Don't get me wrong, I am still passionate about concocting words to be published and read followed by some meaningful discussions. Attending literary forum, parting my 2 cents worth of ideas about the world of writing, meeting interesting writing figures in Asia and of course, I am still wondering time to time why am I rubbing shoulders among them... am I eligible?

At an early stage, the intimidation was humungous, but my stage persona overcame it fantastically. By the time my 3rd novel was out I decided to shake away those horrible feelings: (shy, down to earth, questionings and inadequate). Of course, I wanted to feel worthy when my major publisher sent me to an international lit festival. I do not want to let him down and most of all I personally wanted to be appreciated too. I represented myself if not my country.

Just how I have braved entertainment world years ago, my literary sojourn might as well be treated the same way. As long as I don't fool myself. Emotions were very well controlled. Words from my potty mouth have to be cleared, controlled, making sense it must. Trust me it's not an easy path but exciting at the same time.

"I am not an avid reader," a favorite phrase I will normally use when chatting with some prominent writers. Of course, I cannot be using it all the time, so let it just remain my humble beginnings. Writers they arrived with all sorts of human behavior, I am very tactful for I am very keen on the debate of any kind. Conversations to me must flow like a serene river, stopping by at a nice bank and flow again if the sailing is worthy.

After 3 years of becoming a published writer, avoiding certain conversations about books, finding new words, embracing new styles, royalties and payments have to sometimes stop. Touching only the surface will do... serious writing I think has to be cherished alone during 'me time'. That's what I am thinking right now!

Amazingly the teacher in me keeps surfacing, I wanted to guide (not that I am an excellent writer) but upon looking at some postings on social media made me cringed... so I started to chip in. Guiding those young souls on wattpad.com and direct discussion when time permits on private messages or e-mail. I found some happiness to commit.

Other than sales, there is no competition. At least that's what my simple mind says. Of course, I have seen writers' friends getting 20K ringgit as royalties and 80 cents being the lowest payment. I am lucky to be with a very responsible publisher to be given a recorded sales chart and list of royalty amount (though no name was being mentioned). I personally dealt with royalty issues on a different level. To some, it may be the most stupid notion. The book is for sale, to profit and to earn some monies. My book is selling well in this small country, it will not make me rich like Jakie Collin or J.K Rowling.

I still respect writers living on royalty. I also understand clearly by now on why some only moonlighting as a writer.

The whole scenario made me understand better why some previous writers quit writing altogether.

1. Lack of readers

2. Local readers only read English literature

3. People having no time for books due to life constraints

4. Writing a book with the intention of sales

5. Balancing the content for the sake of readers

Subjective matter it is. At the moment perseverance about writing is still dearly my close companion. I figured out that so many issues to be addressed such as...

1. Translation process compared to neighboring countries.

2. Finding the right content (time changes, so does style)

3. Guiding some young writers (basic and intermediate)

4. Venturing/branching some new projects (poem, shorts, anthologies)

5. Being clear on certain issues plus absorbing motivations to enhance the strength of each work.

Regardless of how you may think, my works can be considered very direct in Bahasa Malaysia Literature away from DBP standards. I have done my part writing about sexuality and living as a trans person. Some may hate it, but as long as a certain group of people got the message, I am the happiest person on earth. Certainly, I realized that some stories have to stop somewhere. I am currently inhaling an ordinary writer mood, it shall prevail in some of my latest work. I assumed that as perspectives of a trans emotion about cisgender living, they can be flamboyant as well. At the same time, of course, my 'Syok Sendiri' level has risen.

I am not here to concur that: You cannot make a living by becoming a writer

NOTE: there are so many figures to be thanked for, people who aspired me to do what I am doing today: Adibah Amin, Dina Zaman, Amir Muhammad, Khadijah Hashim, Catherine Lim, Prof Latif Kamaluddin, Prof MHS and some simple friends around me. I only dare to write as the above after more than 10 works were published, even that can be considered as daring, for normally in Malaysia writers are quieter and very polite arranging their opinions.