Primal.

Chapter 108 - Hazy Days

"I don't feel like I want to drink. And I understand that I can't control situations or people or their emotions" You swallowed hard. "I will be put in difficult situations where I will be hurt. But it's about how I deal with that, rather than how to avoid the situation. Whatever happens, will happen."

Victoria smiled as she jotted down on her notepad and slid the piece of paper to you.

"I've signed you off. I don't believe you need anymore help. But my number is at the bottom at any point you need to talk"

"So I can go?" You asked her bewildered.

"Unless the group therapy states otherwise, then yet. But remember, it's okay to love people and do what you can for them. But stop sacrificing yourself in the process."

"I gotcha doc, thanks" You said with a smile before leaving the room. You had some packing to do.
—

It was risky the situation you were gonna put yourself in. You had released yourself a day early to head to one of the shows with Tommy. They had finished their European tour and were starting their American leg not far from LA. You wanted to surprise Nikki, you wanted to show him you could be in that atmosphere and not have any temptations.

Whatever happens, happens. That used to be your motto and it was gonna make a comeback. You couldn't control anything or anyone, so why try? Just let it happen.

"How you feeling kid?" Tommy asked as he hugged you tight. You had missed him so much now he was doing his own projects. You had asked if he wanted to surprise the guys and he was up for it.

"I'm feeling better, vulnerable but better" You admitted.

"Well we've got a long ass drive ahead of us, why don't you explain it to me on the way?" Tommy asked as you grabbed your keys.

"There's one other person I wanna grab on the way if that's okay?" You asked Tommy and he nodded.

The drive to the other house was short, you felt nervous but it needed to happen. Tommy beeped his horn and you laughed as you heard her cussing at him as she locked her front door.

"I'm coming you fucker, so impatient." You watched as Lita walked down to the car and climbed into the back next to you. She looked at you and you looked at her.

"I'm sorry" You both said at the same time with a laugh. She pulled you in for a hug as Tommy started the engine.

"I love you so much kid, god I was horrible to you" Lita cried as she held you tight against her.

"It's fine Lita, I wasn't much better." You said kissing her cheek. "Just no trying to steal my husband for real."

"I'm so over that dude, no offence" Lita laughed as she sat back lighting up a cigarette. "I used him as an excuse for everything. I did everything because I wanted him. Which wasn't true, I was just projecting or some shit."

"I don't miss that thorough rehab shit man" Tommy laughed from the front seat. "I hate being analysed"

"Well I'm hoping it's helped me save my marriage" You snorted. "But we'll see I guess."

You pulled up at the side of the arena and you eyed the truck outside selling beer and spirits. You took a breath and got out the car, following Lita and Tommy inside. It would be easier to drink. But you weren't about taking the easy way out.

You followed them through the maze of what was backstage until you reached the dressing room. Tommy and Lita went in first, all confident. Hearing the greeting of all the guys. You followed in and stood there awkwardly, waiting to be noticed.

"MOMMY" You heard Izzy squeak as she ran and grabbed your legs. You picked her up and held her close as she wrapped her arms around your neck. Nikki stood back from Tommy and looked at you.

"Hey" You said offering him a small smile. He came over and hugged you tight, ignoring Izzy's protests about being squished. You hummed as you leant your head on his chest. He smelt like him. You could have sobbed when you heard him murmur how much he missed you.

You heard Sam scoff and mutter in the background. You pulled back from Nikki and stared at her as she sat on the sofa, watching you.

"I may be sober now but I will still come over there and shove those drumsticks up that bitter little asshole of yours" You threatened her. You were surprised when you heard Nikki laughing next to you.

"Yeah asshole" Izzy yelled at Sam who scoffed again.

"I gave you candy, you little brat" Sam scoffed.

"Come on, let's go talk" Nikki chuckled as he took yours and Izzy's hand. He lead you to the rehearsal room a few doors over. Izzy headed to the drumset as you sat on the sofa with Nikki.

"I'm so proud of you" He stated with a smile. You yelped as he pulled you onto his lap. "You look better, you look like you."

"I'm back babe" You murmured kissing him lightly. You grinned as he deepened the kiss and held you to him. You had missed him so much, but you also were grateful for the opportunity to have the time to fix yourself.

"Are you staying for the show?"  Nikki asked as he pulled away.

"Stay mommy, we can draw" Izzy said as she hit the snare repeatedly over and over, yelling.

"C'mon Iz, your mom has had a long day. Let's just see what she wants to do." Nikki said calming her down.

"I didn't drive all this way not to see you play" You smirked. "I love your song Cherry Pie, will you play it tonight?"

"You're a fucker" Nikki growled as he nipped your lip. You ran your hands over his neck as he rested his forehead against yours. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too Nikki" You sighed. "I'm sorry for everything."

"It's over now" He murmured kissing you again. "What time is it?"

"Nearly 8" You mentioned and he growled resting his head against your shoulder. You laughed as you felt his teeth on your ear as his hands held you close.

"We can get reacquainted after the show I'm sure."

It was almost normal.

You carried Izzy to the sidestage, she kept trying to remove her headphones until Nikki got firm with her, you were kinda impressed.

"If you want to watch the show you have to keep these on. Otherwise you're going to bed" Nikki warned her. She folded her arms in a huff and hugged you tight.

"I'm so happy you're here" He yelled over the crowd chanting for them. He kissed you with such desperation. Not sexual, just need. He looked at you and sighed with a small smile. "So fuckin happy"

The stagehand gave Nikki his bass and told him it was time to go play. He looked at you and you grinned.

"Go, go. I'll be here when you get back" You smiled as he adjusted his bass.

"You sure?"

"I'm not going anywhere."