Chapter 31 - Halloween

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You felt sick

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You felt sick. Really sick.

"You look beautiful" Lita said as you stood in the mirror. You watched her fan her eyes as Rach told her to get a grip. You had your hand on the mirror as you tried to steady yourself.

"Oh shit, she's having a panic attack." Dawn said pushing a chair behind you as you sat down. It felt like your lungs were closing in on you.

"What if he stands me up? What if he changes his mind? I can't do this, I can't.." You felt emotions coming back from your previous relationship. Him leaving you engaged for someone else. You had been promised this stuff before and it didn't work out. What made today different? You couldn't take the thought of being up there alone.

"I can't go out there, I can't, I can't" You gasped as Lita handed you a paper bag. "There's been so many signs I shouldn't do this.."

"Stop talking like an asshole" Lita glared at you. "Go Get Tommy."

Dawn nodded and ran out of the hotel room, leaving Lita to rant at you.

"Bitch I did not get done up to look this good for a wedding to not happen" Lita sat opposite you and you inhaled and exhaled into the bag. "He loves you. He won't stand you up. Nikki isn't afraid of commitment love. That's you."

You shook your head and Lita nodded.

"Everytime you get close to a guy you bolt. As long as I've known you you've done this. I'm surprised you've gone this long without freaking out. I won't let you leave Sixxter at that altar" Lita threatened.

"It's just not right Lita. I'm not meant to do the marrying thing. I don't know why I keep pretending.."

Dawn came back and held the door closed behind her, motioning Lita over.

"Nikki's behind the door" Dawn hissed "I tried to be coy when talking to Tommy but he's got a fucking big mouth."

"Don't tell her he's here" Lita stayed and Dawn nodded walking back over to you and Rach, trying to keep you calm.

Dawn looked at you worriedly as you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Everytime you looked in the mirror you felt scared. You didn't want to get hurt.

The door opened and Lita came back in and motioned for you to come over.

"Give me your arm" She instructed and you did so. She edged you near the gap of the door as a hand the other side held yours.

"Nikki, I'm terrified" You explained putting your head against the door as he rubbed your hand.

"Stop freaking out." He instructed calmly. You felt him press a kiss to your hand. "Remember that song I wrote about you and your insecurities?"

"I remember, you called me out for being afraid of everything" You chuckled as a sob escaped you. "You hit the nail on the head"

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