Chapter 145 - Carnival of Sins.

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"How is this the sexiest Motley tour yet?" You asked outloud as you read the paper

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"How is this the sexiest Motley tour yet?" You asked outloud as you read the paper.

"Have you not seen the live footage?" Lita said surprised as she got her laptop

"They told me it was like clowns and midgets. I stopped listening when Tommy started talking about midget auditions" You mumbled as you read the article. Lita nudged you as she loaded up the video.

It was wild as fuck. So much pyro, Vince sounded great. It was packed out. Your eyes widened at all the women dancing above Nikki and Tommy. Your eyes went even wider at Vince almost getting it on with three women at once, slapping one of them's ass.

"Stripper and Nikki alert" Lita mentioned. You looked closely and sighed in relief. It was just Tina dancing around Nikki. There was a god.

"And Vince's wife is on tour, watching this live orgy" You said shaking your head. "This is wild. But they sound amazing. They sound as good as they did when I met them."

The door knocked and you stood up heading out the living room. You opened the door to see John stood there.

"John? What are you doing here?" You asked bewildered.

"Can we talk?" He asked rubbing his neck. You cringed, you really really really didn't want him to see the bump. You had no other lies you could tell but you didn't want to hurt him more.

"I kinda have some people in the house right now" You said edging your lower half further behind the door. "What do you need to talk about?"

"I pushed you too quickly." He said quietly. "I was too eager and it drove you away. But I can't stop thinking about you."

"Oh John" You sighed, you reminded yourself to yell at life later on. You had made a decision, why was John turning up on your doorstep now? "I wasn't capable of loving you the way you loved me. That wasn't fair."

"I know but it's been a few months, Nikki's been on tour. I wondered if with time away from him, you felt differently" He asked clearing his throat as he looked at you hopefully.

"I would love to say yes. But I don't. He's just, he's my guy John. And no matter how much I try to pretend he isn't, I'm just lying to myself" You admitted. "You deserve someone who can be yours completely. But it's not me."

He nodded as he looked at the floor, he gave you a forced smile and a little wave before he slowly headed back down your drive.

You hated hurting him. He had done nothing but love you.

Valentine's Day. The day for soppy assholes and one of Nikki's death anniversaries.

You had never really celebrated Valentine's day as it just reminded him of his time in London, dead in a dumpster. It wasn't quite the romantic holiday for him. You were excited for him to come home, you just hoped he was alone.

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