Can We Fall One More Time? (Sequel To Gotta Be You)

-42-

I didn't bother explaining to Liam what had happened when I went back to the studio. I just walked into the bedroom and shut the door. 

After changing, I put the picture of Darren and I on the dresser, wanting to have it close to me.

I climbed into bed and started the laptop, hoping that it wouldn't be too difficult to get in to. 

It needed a password.

I tried his favorite band, his birthday, his mom's name, but nothing was working.

I sat back and tried to think of what he might use as his password. I pulled the laptop into my lap and typed in my name, hoping that it wouldn't work.

My mouth dropped when the password worked and I now had access to everything. 

My name was his password?  Well no one would have guessed it if they didn't know what happened previously. 

I opened his files and saw the pictures of us in the studio goofing off. I smiled at the memories. There was even a picture we took when we recorded my first song. 

I came across a video after the picture and clicked play 

"This is Gracie Dixon, and she is about to become the hottest singer in London" he said, while I covered my face in the background.

He smiled at me "We have just recorded the first song on her album, and this girl is going places" 

"Darren, you don't know that!" I sad in the video, clearly embarrassed.

He wrapped his arm around me "Ten years from now, we're both going to look back on this video, and I'll be right about your success" he looked at the camera "You hear that future Darren and future Gracie? Ten years from now, I'll be right"

My eyes watered. 

This was the first time I had heard his speaking voice since the accident. 

He had recordings and copies of every song that I had recorded with him. Songs that didn't even make it on the first album, and bits and pieces of songs that didn't get finished.

I found the duet and was relieved to see it. I clicked play and once he started singing I began to cry. 

There was a knock on the door and Liam walked in. 

He saw me crying and immediately rushed to my side and pulled me into his arms "What's wrong?" 

I finally just broke down "I can't keep hiding it anymore. I'm just not okay" I said, sobbing into his chest. 

He held me tightly as I cried against him "I can't stand to see you like this, so broken. What can I do?" 

 "Can you turn back time?" I asked, not even sure if what I said was even audible

"If only" he whispered, still keeping me wrapped up in his arms, protectively. 

"I am trying so damn hard to process my grief and continue living my life, but it feels like I can only have one or the other"

He sighed "There's something that I was going to give to you at the party that night, but ever since then I just felt like there wasn't ever a right time for it"

I watched as he reached into his nightstand, pulling out a necklace.

I got more emotional when I saw that it was the necklace he had planned to give me for my birthday on tour. I carried that thing around in my pocket, never actually wearing it. But the day I left and went back home, I left it behind for him.

Everything felt so simple then when compared to now.

"When I woke up to find this, I didn't even know that you had found it; I thought I had left it behind at your parent's house, but there it was. Then I realized that if it's been with you all this time, why is it sudden;y back in my hands?"

I looked down.

"Louis was the first one to realize that you were gone; I woke up shortly after, unable to stay asleep. I knew something was wrong"

"I didn't feel like I deserved to have it with me anymore, especially after ruining everything"

He shook his head "You never ruined things. We were just two guys that put way too pressure on you, and it wasn't handled properly"

I looked at the necklace "I carried that thing around everywhere, but I never actually wore it; I didn't think I should"

He moved my hair out of the way and put the necklace around my neck "When I put Forever on that necklace, I meant it. I may have messed up along the way and made certain things worse, but it was my fault" he adjusted it "The reason I'm giving this to you now, it's because you need a reminder that when everything else is falling around you and you don't know what's stable enough to lean on, there's us"

"There's us?"

He took my hand "No matter what is happening outside in the world, there will always be us; is that enough for you?"

"Of course it's enough" I said, kissing him softly.

"We'll get your album situated, but for right now" he kissed me "Right now you need to sit back and enjoy your memories with Darren"

I smiled at the laptop "I miss him so much, Liam"

"I know, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. No matter how emotional it gets and overwhelming it all seems, there is nothing wrong with missing him"

"Liam, I can't thank you enough for all you've done. Sometimes I feel like I've been so selfish for not really considering you in all of this, but there's times when I just can't help it" I squeezed his hand "But at the end of the day, I see how you're keeping us above water, and I feel like the luckiest girl to have you"

He kissed my forehead "You happiness is one of the most important things to be; I know things are hard for you right now, and of course I worry; but I'm not rushing you to get over anything" he smiled softly "Just know that I'm here" he played with the necklace "And whenever you need a reminder just look at this necklace or the promise ring on your hand"

I rested my head against him, so grateful for all that he has done.

At some point things have to get better; I just don't know when.