Can We Fall One More Time? (Sequel To Gotta Be You)

-83-

I set my guitar down "How are you guys doing, are you having fun?"

They answered with cheers.

"Yeah? Alright, nice" I sighed "This last song, I really, I don't know; I've had people ask me what some of my favorite songs that I perform up here, and I think this is definitely one of them" I smiled "There's something about this song, I think we all look at our pasts and we carry regret, but we shouldn't carry it. 

I looked out at the audience and looked at Liam.

"And we meditate, and we do yoga, and we drink alcohol"

"Yeah!" some guy shouted, while others cheered.

"Some people do drugs; smoke some week, cigarettes; but whatever you do, it's because we're carrying something. And I think there's kind of like a, there's something solemn, beautiful about that to me; that we carry that with us. Everything we do in our youth, it shapes us to who we are, the flawed people that we are" I took a drink "So this song is about our flaws; you know in that way, so I hope you like it"

(Play video)

Let us crash and burn
Religious ones will pray
These pieces of you here
You left me, are still staying

Don't know what I'm saying
Or how to bring you back
And just like my youth
I'll be living with the aftermath

Who I was back then
I barely recognize her
I acted like her friend
When deep down I despised her

Watch myself disappear
Didn't know what love meant
And just like my youth
I'll be living with the aftermath

Ooh...

Take it easy on me
Take it easy on me
Take it easy on me
Take it easy on me

Some things we never say
It isn't easy
I know you're looking down
You may be right beside me

When I finally see you
I'll take off, my man
And just like my youth
I'll be living with the aftermath

And just like my youth
Just like your youth
Just like my youth  

I kept my eyes on Liam as I sang, and only when the audience started cheering did I get pulled back into reality.

---

"Are you going to be okay?" my dad asked.

I nodded "Yeah, if I need you you'll be here"

"I'm here too" Declan said, pulling me in for a hug.

I hugged him back, not wanting to let go.

Liam stood near the back, staring at his feet and occasionally looking up at me.

I slowly walked up to him and he gave me a small smile.

"Your set was beautiful tonight"

"Thanks" I took a seat, and groaned as I sat down.

He hesitated, but took a seat beside me "I don't know how I let things get this bad" he shook his head "I've been throwing myself into fixing that house, hoping that in the process I could fix what was happening between us"

"Is that why you just ignored everyone?"

"Yeah; it wasn't the right thing to do, but it's what happened" he said, looking at me "Leaving you alone in that bed was the worst thing I've done to you; you made a real effort to try and contact me when you had no real reason to, because you didn't owe me any of that" he sighed "I took it for granted, and I just assumed that all these problems were just because of the tour and the minute you came back home, everything would go back to the way it as"

"Why did this idea of change scare you so much?"

He looked down "I always tried my best to build you up and be there when you were succeeding. In my own twisted way, I thought you were succeeding because you had me right there with you; then I come to visit you, and you're shining. I saw billboards with your picture, and you just looked so happy"

"Part of the reason I was happy had to do with the progress I thought we were making"

"I know. I guess, I was trying to hold on to that girl who opened for us on tour and was still trying to figure herself out, without having any shame for being the way she was" he looked up at me "You just changed so much, and I saw this amazing new side to you that had really grown and matured. I saw you succeeding without me, and I got scared that you were going to wake up and not need me anymore when you realized all that you were capable of"

"Liam, I loved how successful I was becoming, but I also wanted to share that with you. Even after I gave up the calls and texts, whenever I saw myself on the cover of a magazine, or killed a performance, you were the one I wanted to talk to. I thought that I had changed when we first broke up, but I really didn't; I hid behind an album and put all my problems into that instead of growing as a person" I took a deep breath "The reason you saw I was still the same girl who you dated before was because I was. It wasn't until I was on my own tour and actually balancing my life, that I realized it all"

He nodded "With you gone, I realized my own things. I saw that I wasn't the man that I wanted to be, especially after I messed up so badly. I focused on working on my own problems, hoping that when you got back I'd finally be a man that is good enough to be with you. I learned that I had some flaws that needed to be dealt with"

"And are you dealing with them?"

"Yeah; I started seeing a therapist, just to try and become better. That was another reason I didn't see anyone; I decided that I didn't want to see you again, until I knew that I was capable of being the man you and our child deserve" he slowly took my hand "I know I have a lot to work on, but I'm working on it. I didn't understand at the time, but you were right; I was apologizing just to deal with my own guilt and none of my actions matched the words I was saying" he looked at me "I'm trying though, and though you have no reason to give me another chance, I want to be in your life and I want to be a good father; I just need to know that I still have a place in your heart"

"You'll always have a place in my heart, Liam. I will say that if you're serious, we can try to work on our relationship. I don't want to focus on anything romantic though, because that's an easy way to take two steps back rather than move forward. You have to make an effort and I need to see that you're willing to try to do what's best, especially for this baby"

He let out a sigh of relief "I want to be there for the rest of the doctor appointments, and I want to help you in every way possible before the baby is born"

I smiled as I felt the baby kicking. I took his hand and placed it on the spot.

Liam laughed in disbelief "I didn't know how incredible that could feel" he grinned "I promise that I won't run away anymore"

"Don't tell me, show me"