Can We Fall One More Time? (Sequel To Gotta Be You)

-36-

Slowly I had started working on getting my back life to normal. I'd be going to the studio for the first time in over a month. 

Liam put his arms around me "Are you sure you're ready to go back?"

I nodded "If I don't, who knows when I will"

The main reason I was so hesitant to go back was because there would be a new producer helping me finish my album. 

What if they don't like me?

I'd probably never have another connection with a producer like I did with Darren; at least that I was able to accept.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Liam asked, following me to the front door.

"You don't have to, but if you want to meet me for lunch" I suggested.

He nodded "I'll be there"

I opened the door and saw the car waiting for me. 

Liam noticed my discomfort "You're going to be okay"

I nodded and slowly made my way to the car, getting in and taking a deep breath. 

--

As I walked down the hallway, I felt pain as I made my way to the studio that Darren and I had spent so much time in. 

There was no way it would be the same studio; it was just another room in this building. 

When I walked in, I saw a woman standing there, playing the instrumentals to some of my music.

"Hi"

She turned "Hi, Gracie; I'm Naomi" she stuck her hand out.

I shook her hand and sat my things down "Nice to meet you"

"I was just looking over some of your music" she said, sitting down "I also want to say that I'm so sorry that you've experienced a loss like this"

"It's been really hard"

"At least you can distract yourself with this album, right?"

I nodded "Yeah"

"Do you want to just get going with it?"

I walked to the booth, already feeling uncomfortable "Which song?"

"After going over the unfinished songs, I'd like to work with The Breakdown"

I nodded "Seems appropriate"

"Why is that?"

"I've just got a lot of emotions that need to get out"

She nodded "Let's do it then"

I got settled in the booth and closed my eyes, imaging how I would do this is Darren was seated out there.

If I close my eyes I can pretend he's here.

(Play video)

It's out to get me
And It's all in my hand
It wants to take me
Time to put me to bed
Can someone wake me?
Against my own will
And get me out of here
I'm sick of walking on pills
I've got a weakness
So tell me where is the place?
Can someone shake me?
And get me out of this fix?
All the white walls
Are closing in tight
I need to know
If I can get through the night

It wont let me
Everybody's out to get me

Tell me that the lines are what they seem
Oh that the heaven screams all that I dream
Oh, will it ever let go
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown

All the vampires
Are out on the look
Do they see me
How long will it take
To chase the monster
That's still in my head
It's on the sea
And it needs to be fed
I have the witness
(it wont)
To what has been done
(let me)
It sorta had me
(everybody's out to)
And I think it has won
(get me)

Tell me that the lines are what they seem
Oh, that the heaven screams all that I dream
Oh, will it ever let go
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown

Oh break it down, break it down, and what you really want

All I've done today breakdown
Oh outta the way it's all a frown
Oh still again sit down
Oh I've done it again breakdown
Oh I've done it today breakdown
Oh outta the way it's all a frown

It won't let me
Everybody's out to get me

Tell me that the lines are what they seem
Oh, that the heaven screams all that I dream
Oh, will it ever let go
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown
Oh, oh no, it's a breakdown  

The music came to an end and I saw I was crying. This was the first song that I had really given it my all since taking a break, and it hurt to do so.

I wiped my eyes and Naomi had a puzzled look on her face.

"Is something wrong?" 

"I'm just trying to figure you out" she said, tilting her head a little. "Can you come here?" 

I nodded, taking the headphones off and walking out. 

"Is there a problem?" 

"You said you had emotion to put in the song, but where where they?" 

I nervously chuckled "I was crying in there"

"That may be, but all I've heard around here is that you're this amazing singer who can break hearts by the end of the first verse; all I saw was someone screaming and forcing a performance that just wasn't there"

"Are you kidding? I can't force emotions, whatever people hear in the song is genuine"

"You're just given all this praise, but I don't see what the big deal is" she frowned "From where I'm standing you're just another pop singer attempting to be an artist"

What was her deal? I've never seen a producer act so rude to an artist before. If she didn't like it, she didn't have to be such a bitch about it.

"All I'm saying is that it didn't sound like you even knew what heartbreak or grief was; you were just a little girl singing a big song that she's not ready for. Just because you can hit some notes it doesn't mean you did the job" she sat back in her chair "I'll need to review some of your other songs that you recorded with Darren, just to make sure that they don't need to be fixed"

"Don't you dare touch those songs"

She looked at me "Excuse me?"

"Darren and I worked our asses off on those songs. They are finished and they don't need to be fucked with by someone who doesn't even like my music"

She gave me a look "You can leave; I think I've seen enough"

"What?"

"I don't think you're ready to come back and finish your album; you're clearly not handing your emotions well and we don't need a bigger mess here than we already have" she turned away "Don't worry, I'll let Simon know how today went"

I grabbed my things and rushed out of the studio. Who the hell did she think she was? She had no right talking to me like that.

What am I supposed to do now?