Can We Fall One More Time? (Sequel To Gotta Be You)

-2-

After going back home last night, I was hit with a whole new batch of tweets.

It never seemed like there were any good ones lately. Sure, there were some positive ones, telling me how much they love my music.

It didn't change the fact that I was still getting a ton of hate online. 

I don't see why people hated me so much.

No one knew the story behind it, they just saw me as some whore who threw myself at two guys and used them for my own amusement. 

Which I didn't.

I just wish that I could turn back time and not allow myself to fall for anyone. Because I was actually starting to believe everything they were saying.

Things were just different now. 

The boys didn't know it, but they were right. I was severely depressed, and shortly after returning home from touring, I saw a doctor, who referred me to a psychiatrist. 

That psychiatrist officially diagnosed me with major depression and an anxiety disorder. With the way I was describing things, it seems I've actually had it for some time, it just went untreated. 

Especially when on tour it made my moods a bit unstable and I was now getting treatment for it. I was prescribed medication for both and had been on it for two months now, with the dosage increasing last month. 

I was worried about the side effects though. Even though my health was more important than my career, I didn't want to see it fall apart. 

But now I was on Paxil for my depression and anxiety, as well as Klonopin to help when I have nasty panic attacks. 

The effects are driving me insane though, because the antidepressants has caused a shift in my weight, as well as making it hard to sleep lately. 

I was heading to the studio now, sharing a car with Shay. He was typing away on his phone, without a care in the world. 

Sometimes I wish I could talk to him like a friend, but he doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself. 

He looked over at me "What's wrong with you?" 

"Like you'd even care" I muttered, looking out the window.

"Try me" he said, all snooty.

"There are a bunch of hate comments about me on social media, and it's causing me" 

"I said tell me your problem, not your life story" he said, with a laugh.

How are people so oblivious to this relationship. 

"Shay, I'm serious" 

"Yeah and so am I. Whatever it is, it's most likely your hormones. It's probably just your time of the month, so why not get some chocolate and sit in a corner, crying about your problems until you're ready to come out be a big girl again" he said, chuckling.

"What the hell happned to you?"

He shook his head "Nothing happened to me, you're just too gullible to see that you're so easy to use. Maybe that's how Liam and Niall got in your pants. At least that's what the magazines are saying" 

"They're saying I slept with them?" 

"Well you did, didn't you? You seem like the type. I'm surprised you haven't thrown yourself at me, it'd be an easy one for me" he said.

I felt my eyes water.

Was I really a slut to everyone that came into my life?

I can't do this anymore. I don't know if the fame is even worth it.