You Changed My Life

106. Going Out Alone

Noelani's pov

Today I have decided that I will go outside alone. I know it sounds stupid that it is such a big deal, but after my last events of going out alone... Well they haven't been that exciting.

I grab my bag which holds my purse and iPhone. I look myself in the mirror. Nervously rubbing my arm and my eyes scanning my own body. I reach my face and smile a little.

'You'll be okay. You can do this.' I say in my head.

I nod as if someone actually said it and I open my bedroom door and walk out. Both of the boys walk over to me. I smile at them nervously and hold my own hand. I take a shaky breath and slowly release the air from my lungs.

"Have fun okay. And if you don't feel safe then call me or Tyler and we will come and get you." Connor says kissing my head.

"Enjoy yourself. Stay safe and don't be too alert. You'll be fine I promise. Have a nice time." Tyler says hugging me. "And don't have too much fun out there."

"Yes dad... Bye." I say walking out the door.

They have already said all of that stuff to me. I probably know it all off my heart if I could be bothered. They want me to text them if I feel scared. I should text them right now then and tell them to pick me up from in front of the apartment block.

I walk down the road and I look at everyone that I walk by. I hate being cautious about my surroundings but hopefully I will relax slightly. Hopefully the lifer I stay out the more confident I will be.

I don't want to live my life in fear anymore then I already have. I have been scared about going out alone ever since I was little. There's just the thought of someone jumping out at you from around the corner. It frightens me a lot.

I go into Urban Outfitters and see some cute skirts. Connor gave me some money to get myself some clothes. I refused to take his money as I have my own but he insisted.

I will pay him back though. I don't care if he wants me to or not, I am not taking his money and not giving it back. I hate taking someone's money, it makes me feel guilty.

I buy a complete outfit which is a baby blue skater skirt, a candy floss pink vest, a mixed coloured, checkered shirt and some black pumps. It sounds kinda gross but it's actually really cute.

I decide I will save it for Playlist Live so then I have something cute to wear for my meet and greet. As the days go by the more excited I get. Sometimes I have freak outs and go crazy and dance round my room.

I go into topman and see shirts for men. I get Tyler a black one with small white anchors on it and Connor a white shirt with black anchors on it. I can imagine them wearing them and I just see pure cuteness mixed with sexiness.

And seem as I have put them through a lot of shit recently, this is the least that I could do. And I guess I am kind of spending Connors money in him. Seem as I only dipped into his money to get one of the shirts.

I start to feel hungry as it is one in the afternoon. My tummy growls at me and I start to feel empty. I get a text message which made me jump out of my skin.

'Hey stranger, long time no see. Wanna meet up for lunch? ~Ricky x'

Well I am hungry, and it would be nice to see Ricky seem as he has helped me through a lot. So why not?

'Sure, where did you want to meet? ~Noelani x'

'There's a cute cafe round the corner to Topman, see you in five? ~Ricky x'

'Okay! ~Noelani x'

Well I guess I don't have to walk far. I walk to the cafe Ricky mentioned and I sit in the corner booth. This cafe is actually pretty cute. The music is cute too.