Song for this chapter:
Long Way Down- Tom Odell
Suicide- Rihanna
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!WARNING! This chapter could be sensitive and maybe triggering. I feel like it needs a warning just in case but it isn't bad.
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I take a deep breath and begin to talk...
Noelani's pov
"Jackie told me about your ex." I begin.
Connor goes to say something but I silence him. If I want to say what I want to say, I need to say it all at once.
"She told me about your ex. I don't know her name or where she is. I just know what she done to you. I know you are scared that I could be like her and I promise you with all my heart that I would never dream about hurting you like she did. I have no intention of causing you pain like she did.
"The things she done to you were horrible and I would absolutely hate myself if I were to do those things to somebody as sweet as you. I was shocked when Jackie told me because you always seemed so happy in your videos. As you were making others happy like me, you were in the otherwise of the screen upset and down too.
"But as Jackie was telling me it got harder to listen to because I didn't want that to be part of your past. I didn't want to imagine you going through a similar pain that I had to go through."
My voice breaks and Connor reaches out for me but I gently push his hands away. I hold one of them but I want to finish what I have to tell him.
"Connor you were my first kiss and my first ever boyfriend. I honestly thought I would never have my first kiss because I mean, who would want me if I was to bump into them? The thought of me having a boyfriend use to make me laugh, not out of humour, out of hurt. I have had so much hate pushed towards me from the opposite gender that I believed every single cruel world they said to me.
"'Who would want you?' To 'kill yourself because you'll end up alone. Nobody will ever want you because your ugly as fuck.'"
"I know I should of ignored them... But I had nobody to turn to for help. I literally had nobody at all... I was so alone growing up. My 'friends'... They turned against me and joined my bullies... Soon enough I had the whole school on my back even though I literally done nothing wrong...
"I am not here to tell you about my past so I am going to stop that part there.
"But I have had a crush on you for years... My feelings have been growing for you every single day that I have been with you. I have had an interest about you, you seemed different to all the other youtubers and I don't know if it was because in my heart I knew you wasn't always happy but my head tricked me to believe you were because you were always so positive.
"And I have realised that those three words that are so easy to say, but so hard to have the meaning as you say it, I can actually say it. Connor... I love you."
I look up at him and he has tears rolling down his cheeks.
"I love you so much." He says in tears.
I pull him into my arms and hug him tight. He cries into my neck and I gently rub small patterns into his back. After a few minutes he calms down and slowly pulls away.
"I guess it's my turn now to tell you something that nobody else knows apart from me." He says laughing nervously.
"You don't have to, I know a lot more about you now." I say smiling.
"No, somebody needs to know this and it seems fitting that I should tell you about it." He says not looking at me directly.
"Okay... Only if you want to though." I say slightly scared.
ESTÁ A LER
You Changed My Life
FanficIt's a story/ fanfic that includes Tyler Oakley, Connor Franta and many other youtubers. It's about a young adult who has had a bad childhood and she has moved to America for a new start. She makes a few good friends along the way. She goes through...
