You Changed My Life

5. The Past Is A Dark Place.

Songs for this chapter:

If I Told You~ Jason Walker

~~~~~~~~~~

Noelani's pov

I look down at my wrists and start to anxiously pull down my sleeves. Before I can stop myself tears start to fall from my eyes. I hope the boys don't notice. I hear Tyler gasp, he must of seen my scars. He leans over and turns off his camera quickly and next thing I know he has pulled me into his arms and I am sobbing into his shirt making it wet with my tears. He pulls me closer to him and starts to rub my back. I slowly start to calm down.

I feel tears dropping down onto my head and I look up to see Tyler crying. I reach up and wipe his tears away. "Why Noelani? What caused you so much pain to do that to yourself?" He asks as tears escape his eyes. I pull away from him and I hug him as he cries into my neck. It must of really hurt him to see my scars. I notice Connor wiping his eyes and I lean over to him and pull him in my arms as well. Both of them are crying because of my scars. Two of my inspirations, crying about me and my past.

They both pull away at the same time. "Noelani what happened?" Connor asked me with a shaky breath. I decide it is time that I actually tell someone what happened to me. I am scared for what they might now think of me. Telling them means I have to go back to dark places in my memory and having to dig through the pain and hurt that happened to me throughout my childhood. I take in a very shaky breath and begin my story.

"When I was in England, I didn't exactly fit in with anyone or anything. My parents were abusive to me and I was always beaten up by a group of girls and boys at school. I was the kid that had nobody, I was the teen that everybody decided they would make their life a living hell.

"Sometimes I couldn't think straight and as they were beating me I could feel everything inside me break. I couldn't tell my parents because they done similar things to me. I locked myself in my bedroom and into my joint bathroom. I had a cabinet and right at the back of it is where I kept razor blades. I would cut but sometimes it would get out of my control and I couldn't work my own body.

"But loads of these scars aren't from me. They use to tie me up and cut me. They would absolutely torture me to the point I was covered in blood and there was barely any clean skin showing. They were never caught and I never had anybody to call for help. I had no phone, nothing in order to get help. I had no-one to turn to. It got to the point where I just wanted them to end me, I would beg them to kill me and take my life away. But they never did.

"At home I was shoved down the stairs, I was treated as a servant, I wasn't even recognised as their child. They always called me their mistake. I was bullied ever since pre- school. I was just the unfortunate child in the group of people. And I always have been. And I was never able to escape. Even teachers would make fun of me in class, they would embarrass me in front of everybody. I was the school laughing stock.

"I have been alone my whole life and never had the support I wanted or needed. I always hide my true feelings with a smile because I don't want the questions. I wouldn't do anything, I missed so many opportunities because of my scars and my insecurities. But I couldn't help it. I was always called something negative and I started to believe it and let it take over me. And I regret it so much but I didn't have anybody to turn to."

When I had finished I realised Tyler had hold of my hand and Connor had the other. They were both tracing circles into my palm. Squeezing my hand at times where it was hard for them to listen.

"I'm sorry Noelani." Tyler says quietly. He then walks of and slams the front door behind him.

"Is he okay?" I ask Connor worriedly.

"Yeah, he just doesn't like self-harm and bullying, he just needs some time, he will come round."

"Okay, thank you. You and Tyler and loads of other youtubers are the reason why I am still here today. If you didn't put up you're stories of being bullied I know I wouldn't be here. I would of never escaped my living hell today. Thank you." I say and kiss his cheek. "I think I'm gunna go to bed. It's been a long day. Night."

I walk to my room and close the door. I lean against it and melt down. I can't believe I told them. I actually told someone about my story and problems. I told someone about my living nightmares. Tears roll down my eyes and I could hear the front door open and close.

"Is she asleep?"

"She went to her room a couple of minutes ago. She will be asleep soon."

"That was hard, sorry I left I just couldn't..."

"It's okay. I'm glad she told us, she was pretty brave. I feel bad that she went through all of that alone though."

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

So I hope you guys like this chapter! Sorry I haven't updated in a while I have been busy and distracted. But I hope this chapter was worth the wait?

I hope you liked the song I picked for this chapter. I try to find songs that relate to the writing and what people can somehow relate to. But I hope this is the right song?!

And holy crap! 65 reads in under 11 days?! That is amazing! Thank you all so much! It means a lot that you are reading my writing and hopefully enjoying it?! I am loving writing this story and I hope you are enjoying it to. But thank you that is incredible!

If you enjoyed this chapter please vote for it and leave a comment telling me what you think!

See you guys in the next chapter!

Bye! x