It's Better to Burn Out than...

By Myownthing666

12.2K 156 28

After Ruby Stockins's ex-boyfriend kills himself, she thinks that she will never date again. Until one day wh... More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Chapter 149
Chapter 150
Chapter 151
Chapter 152
Chapter 153
Chapter 154
Chapter 155
Chapter 156
Chapter 157
Chapter 158
Chapter 159
Chapter 160
Chapter 161
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Chapter 166
Chapter 167
Author's Note

Chapter 100

50 0 0
By Myownthing666

December 20, 1993



I continued to massage his shoulders and he groaned out loud. I rolled my eyes and ignored it. 

I had recently gotten a new job as a massage therapist and I honestly enjoyed it better than working at the gym. Here, I could decorate my room however I wanted. I put a lot of pictures of my family up there and it made me feel at home in a way. 

The only bad side to this was that for some reason, massages were always so sexual. Some people would try to act on me, but I would have to reject them-men and women. They always understood and never pushed it. I was so thankful for that. 

"Alright," I pulled the towel over my patient's body. "That's enough for today. I will leave the room so that you can get dressed."

"There's no cameras, right?" He joked. 

I shut the door behind me and stood outside of it, waiting for him to come back out so that I could wipe down all of the equipment we used and get everything ready to leave for the day. 

"Hey," He walked out, all dressed. 

"Thank you for coming in," I shook his hand. 

"When should my next appointment be?"

"Um, go up to the front and talk to her about that. It all depends on when I'm booked and when I'm not."

"Alright, thank you."

"Have a wonderful day."

I walked back inside the room, grabbed out my cleaning supplies, and started spraying down the massage table. 

"Hey, I'm here for my appointment," Someone said. 

"Oh, this is room 13," I replied. "Maybe you have the wrong room? I have no more appointments for today."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I turned around and screamed at the sight. "OH MY GOD!" 

I ran to him and hugged him, kissing him all over. I took in his presence and it was a couple minutes after I saw him that I finally comprehended that he was actually there. 

"Kurt," I kissed his soft lips. 

His hands roamed all over my body as I let them go wherever they wanted. I melted into his soft and warm embrace. I laced my fingers around strands of his hair. 

"Your hair's greasy," I commented. 

He chuckled. "Nice to see you, too."

"Kurt, I love you so much," I squeezed him. "I love you."

No words could've described the happiness I felt just being in the same room as Kurt. It was a gift that not everyone would get to experience, but a lot of people on this world would love to. I was so lucky. 

The biggest gift of all was him allowing me to be in his life. He didn't have to, but he wanted me to. He wanted me in his life. That was a gift that he gave me everyday. It was ironic considering that it was the best gift of them all, yet I couldn't even really see it. 

"How has the touring been so far?" I asked him after we finally stopped hugging each other. But we didn't stop touching each other-Kurt held onto my body as I cleaned my room. 

"I don't like it. I don't really know what else there is to say."

"Make the best of it, Kurt."

After I finished wiping down everything, we held each other's hands and walked out of the room. 

"Oh, it was just Kurt," Everleigh, the receptionist, chuckled. "We thought you died or something."

"No," I smiled at Kurt. 

"We should put up one of those, umm, picture frames that restaurants have of celebrities and we should put Kurt in it."

"Well then let's hurry and take our picture." I knew that Kurt wouldn't take a picture unless I was in it. He hated taking pictures. 

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I smiled. God knows what he did, but it was something that made Everleigh laugh.

"Alright, bye, Everleigh," I waved goodbye as Kurt and I walked outside. 

"I took a cab here, so we're going to have to take your car," He said. 

"Why are you here?" I asked him. "I thought you weren't going to be home for Christmas."

"I must've read the dates wrong because I am able to now."

"Read the wrong dates when you called me?"

"Yeah."

"When do you go back on tour?"

"We'll talk about it later. Let's go eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Then let's go bowling."

"Bowling?"

"Yes. Bowling. Let's go bowling."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

We never went bowling. As soon as we pulled up to the bowling alley, Kurt had changed his mind. I knew that was going to happen. Instead, we went to go get something to eat. Kurt didn't eat, though. He just watched me. I tried to get him to take a bike or something, but he wouldn't. I didn't want to push it. I didn't want to argue. 

After we were done eating, he took me somewhere, but I didn't know where. He wouldn't tell me. 

He covered my eyes as I walked through the grass. Then, there was concrete, so I walked softer. He took his hands off of my eyes and I saw in front of me that I was underneath a bridge and there was a wall filled with graffiti. 

"Why are we here?" I asked. "It smells so gross."

"I used to live here, Ruby."

My eyes widened. "What? Why?"

"I was homeless for a while. While writing 'Nevermind', I was homeless. Sometimes when I was a teenager, I would just come here."

"Kurt."

That's all that I could manage to say. My heart broke into two for him. I felt so bad that he had to go through that. 

"It's over now," He shrugged his shoulders. "I used to smoke pot here, too."

"Dear God," I chuckled. 

It was then that it occurred to me how lucky I was. Even if I grew up disliking my parents, I was lucky. They still loved me and I obviously loved them, even though I wouldn't say that. They still gave me food to eat and they tried to help me with Lorelai when I was a teenager. They didn't know what to do. They weren't good parents growing up, but they've changed now. 

I was insanely lucky that I didn't grow up homeless or giving birth to Lorelai under a bridge. Kurt didn't deserve that. 

We both had tough lives growing up and we still have tough lives now, but somehow, he makes things alright. He doesn't even have to do anything to comfort me. Just seeing him standing there makes me feel comforted. 

I always thought that Robert was the one. Once I met Kurt, that changed. I wasn't planning on loving anyone ever again. I didn't want to. I wanted to be with Kurt. I wanted to love him. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. 

"You, actually."

"Kurt?" We both heard someone ask. 

We spun our heads to the top of the hill and there was a woman standing there. She was a bigger woman with red hair-that was very poofy-and bangs.

"Tracy?" Kurt lightly chuckled. 

She ran down the hill and hugged him as if I wasn't standing right there. 

"What the fuck?" I hissed. 

"Sorry," Kurt let go of her and she stepped away from him. 

"Who are you?" I crossed my hands across my chest. 

"Oh, I'm Kurt's ex-girlfriend Tracy," She said. 

"Oh, an ex-girlfriend? Why the fuck were you all over him, then?"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Kurt stepped in between us. 

"I'm clearly standing right here and you just jumped on top of him," I was pissed. 

"I am so sorry," She apologized. "I didn't know."

"Now that's a goddamn lie."

"It was nice seeing you, Tracy, but I think we have to go, now," Kurt started to push me onto the hill. "I'm sorry."

"Call me!" She hollered. 

"You have her number?" I growled. 

"No, Ruby. Why are you so angry?"

"Your literal ex-girlfriend just smothered you and hugged you."

"Don't be mean."

"She literally ran to you to hug you. I don't think she's over you."

"Well, I'm over her, not you. You have nothing to worry about."






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