Serendipity (Book 1)

Fruits And Ham by Tricksterr

FanFiction.net

Fruits And Ham by Tricksterr

TV » iCarly
Rated: T
Language: English
Genre: Humor & Romance
Characters: Freddie B., Sam P.
Words:
Published: Nov 30, 2008
Updated: Dec 12, 2008

***

I always knew that when I become an adult I would be Carly Shay's second husband. If you ask what happen to the first one, well let's just say, it's something you can never prove! Setting that aside, me and Mrs. Carly Shay-Benson would have three kids, two girls and a boy, and when the kids finish college, we will retire in a little beach house in Hawaii, each day watching the sunset sharing a bowl of fruit.

But now I'm so confuse because whenever I try to close my eyes and imagine that future again, it was a little different.

I could still see watching the sunset but instead of fruits, it was ham, and it wasn't with Carly, but it was with Sam.

Today instead of staring at the future Mrs. Benson I kept looking over to Sam. Everything about her was annoying. The way her huge blue eyes seemed to lighten the whole room, the way her hair looked like a gold halo around her sweet face, the way her lips were a sweet shade of pink...

...Come to think of it, those could be considered good things. No wait! Bad thoughts Freddie!

"Yo! Benson! See, told ya Carls, he's brainless!" Sam's voice suddenly rings. I sigh disgustedly.

"I resent that, Puckett!" I shout already knowing what would come.

"I resent you." Sam yelled, and stuck a piece of fruit up my nose! I suddenly remembered my weird freaky screwed up dream. The fruit felt like sweet acid in my nostril. I felt my eyes begin to burn a bit.

"Aww, is Fweddie-boy gonna cwy?" Sam asked with a pout. Around her lips a small smirk was playing in a way only Sam could do.

"Well, guys let's go-uh-eat food!" Carly not so smoothly cut in. She stepped between us. Her coal black hair was slightly frazzled. Her dark eyes were worried. I tried to decide quickly who could keep a man's attention better, based on looks.

No matter what I do, Sam wins.

She can't lose anything, can she?

"Food? Why are we still here?" Sam asked perking up. I swear this girl can be bipolar sometimes.

I heard Carly release a sigh of relief. I didn't see her though; I only had eyes for Sam Puckett.

What was I going to do, when everything she did was having me want to strangle her then kiss her?

***

We sat in the booths of some cheap food joint. It was hot sticky and vinyl-y. But it smelled like Heaven down on Earth. Carly and Sam sat across from me, talking about Build-a-Bra.

"May I take your orders?" A friendly girl with a sweet southern accent said. She was hot, with a light dusting of freckles across her button nose. Her red hair was pleasantly frizzy, and her teeth were straight and white. There was nothing wrong with her.

So why wasn't she as pretty as Sam?

"Yes. Can we have two plates of your hamburger surprise and a platter of ham? Thanks." Carly ordered for us. Politely! And sweetly with a nice smile.

That's right when it hit me. Like a load of 5 ton bricks. Aimed at the head, and thrown by Sam.

I didn't like Carly!

"No." I said suddenly. I shook my head. "Can I have the...ham?" They always were my favorite. Not as if I would tell you, so you can tell Sam! Ha! I'm not that stupid.

"But....you always order the same as Carly!" Sam said, as Carly just sat there.

"So?" I shrugged. I felt sort of like I just jumped of a cliff head-first, relying on Sam catching me.

Do you know how stupid that is?

"You're copying my order!" Sam spat, with her eyes narrowing. I swear, if she was a cat she'd be hissing.

"I can eat it if I want to!" I shouted. Something told me Sam was gonna win this one. What a shocker. I bit my lip.

"Not if I'm eating it!" Sam yelled, equally as tense.

Carly looked at the waiter. "Sorry, uh," she squinted at the waitress's nametag, "Lily. This might take a while . . ."

"No, I can wait!" she said, flashing us her dimples.

"Why is all about you, Puckett?" I said, standing up. The salt fell over. Sam narrowed her eyes.

"You better toss some of that over her shoulder, Benson," she said in a tone so deadly I wouldn't be shocked if she pulled out a gun and spat tobacco. She stood up as well.

Normally I wouldn't, but there was something in her smooth voice that made me do it. I shot her a dirty look that was well reciprocated. A look accompanied by a very rude gesture.

"Are they normally like this?" I heard Lily whisper to Carly.

"No. They're being civil..." Carly muttered. Lily seemed to be our age so Carly asked, "Haven't you seen them around school?"

"I have, but I thought it was an act . . ." Lily said, with a small frown etching her smooth face.

"Don't you dare say anything, Carly..." Sam said in a deathly tone. If looks could kill, then poor Carly would be dead.

"I want ham! Is that a federal crime now?!" I shouted, referring to the previous argument.

"Yes! Carly didn't order ham for herself, and you love Carly!" Sam shouted so loudly, several heads turned.

I heard several whispers of: 'A lover's quarrel?' 'They're so sweet together,' and 'They could shut up-oooo a lover's fight!'

"I don't like Carly anymore!" I yelled, relishing in the freedom of those words. The only problem? I think I'm in love with Sam.

And she so totally planned this....

"Really?! And Hell is a freakin' ice cube!" Sam yelled, along with a snort.

"I'd rather be in Hell then be near you!" I yelled, contradicting everything I now felt.

"I think they dig each other...." I heard Lily whisper to Carly. She nodded, quickly.

Sam looked over to her coldly, staring daggers. I felt myself glare at her as well.

Lily put her hands up in a surrendering motion and said, "Just saying...."

We all sat back down (well those who were standing up) and sipped our sodas carefully. The silence lasted for nearly half an hour after Lily brought the food.

I kept thinking about Sam, though. I realized why I 'hated' her. I hated the feelings I felt to her. I loved her though. My little dream of being Carly's second husband faded away and was replaced by Sam and me, only each other, our first and only.

Suddenly a pretty fat guy stood up and yelled loudly, "I won! I won! I'm rich, baby!" He held up a lottery card, and everyone screamed loudly. People shot up like rockets to see him.

In all the chaos and disarray I yelled, hoping no one would hear me, "I love Sam Puckett!"

No one turned.

Except for Sam. Her eyes pierced mine, and her lips were parted slightly.

Crap.