Serendipity (Book 1)

Clueless Blondes by grangertash

FanFiction.net

Clueless Blondes by grangertash

TV » iCarly
Rated: K
Language: English
Genre: Romance & Friendship
Characters: Sam P., Freddie B.,
Words: 1,409
Published on FanFiction: Jan 26, 2009

***

There's a myth that states blondes are the least intelligent of all people. All you have to do is google 'blonde jokes' and you are faced with thousands of witty comments about the IQ of blondes. It is said that they are just a pretty face and are known to have either a small brain or no brain at all. Take this one for example:

What did the blonde do when she found out 90% of accidents occur at home?

She moved.

How hilarious . . .

I, of course, did not believe this to be true at all, until a blonde friend of mine seemed to be proving the theory correct. I'm talking about Sam, of course. She has typical blonde curly hair (all natural). Although she does not have the attitude of a dumb blonde (in fact she's more of a bad ass) she does seem to be growing more and more clueless each day. I can prove it with 3 pieces of evidence.

1

It all started at school one Friday morning. Sam came through the door sighing, looking miserable to be at school (as usual).

"Thank god it's Friday!" She huffed, "We have iCarly rehearsals tonight, right Carly?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "Straight after school."

I began mindlessly organising my locker for the day when out of the corner of my eye, I witnessed the first sign of Sam's decreasing intelligence.

Freddie arrived, looking fresh and happy to be at school (as usual). He said hello to Sam, obviously not noticing me as I was hidden behind my locker.

"Are iCarly rehearsals on tonight, Sam?" He asked her, peering in her locker where her head was currently resting.

"Yes, dork." She sighed uninterestingly, her eyes drooping slightly.

"Right," He nodded, looking strangely flustered, "So . .what are you doing after rehearsals?".

Sam opened her eyes but her head was still asleep on her locker shelf, "I don't know . . . probably staying at Carly's. Why?" She asked, her eye brows raised.

To my surprise, Freddie's cheeks were turning a little pink as he stuttered, "Oh . . well . . I was wondering if we could go . . . get a smoothie together."

The bell then choose to send it's numbing tune through the halls, but I didn't dare move in the fear that they would notice I was eavesdropping so I stayed still, crouched, hidden behind my locker.

Sam took her head up from the locker at sound of the bell, "Smoothies sound good. I'll ask Carly and we can go before dinner. You paying?"

"Oh . . ask Carly? . . Sure . . I'll pay," Freddie sighed, looking disappointed. He waved and watched Sam run off to class. When she was out of sight, he banged his head with the palm of his hand, mumbling to himself.

I stayed frozen for a moment, shocked, had Freddie just asked Sam out? Never before had the thought of Sam and Freddie together crossed my mind. Mostly it was because they sort of hated each other but then again you don't spend every day in the company of someone you despise.

For the remaining time at school, I watched the two of them very carefully. In fact, I never took my eyes of them. What I noticed was incredible. As expected, Freddie seems to stare at Sam whenever possible, he seemed to be lost in her face. Every once in a while, he would send a smirk and surprisingly, she would reply with a slight movement of her lips. If you weren't looking closely enough, it would appear as though nothing had changed between them, but to the critical eye, the friendship of Sam and Freddie had a new layer: silent flirting. It's amazing what you see when you open your eyes.

2

Soon enough, sign two that Sam was indeed becoming a cliché blonde came during iCarly rehearsal. From start to finish Freddie was acting weird. He did everything he could to get on Sam's nerves. Strange thing to do to your crush, I know, but this is Sam and Freddie we're talking about, so I guess to rules have to be different.

"I think I might go and top up on my tick lotion," Freddie said casually, his eyes directed at Sam.

She scoffed and as usual made some sort of offensive comment. "Awww. Little Fweedie dweeb is actually starting to put on his own lotion! Well done!" She snorted.

"That's not funny, Sam. My mom happens to be right, I haven't had ticks in my life!" He said, obviously straining his voice to sound offended as he was clearly not.

"I don't wear lotion and I've never had ticks!" Sam laughed, seeming oblivious to how much Freddie was enjoying this.

"I'm sure someone with a mother like yours has to have had ticks!" He said smirking. Freddie knows her, comments about her mom do not go down well with Sam. It is the recipe for a full on fight with Sam; something I'm sure Freddie is hoping for.

I covered my ears as a full on words battle occurred in my loft. I couldn't believe Sam could be so dense. I don't know how, when or why it happened, but it was obvious (if you looked hard enough) that Freddie had it bad for Sam, but it seemed that she just couldn't see it herself.

3

Strike 3 was the event that convinced me the most that Sam's hair color had affected her mind.

All three of us had filled ourselves up on a new smoothie (lickin smickin gritting stawberry kizzing flava) that Groovy Smoothie had and we were on our way back to the apartment block.

"I really want to see Vampires Revenge," Freddie blurted out.

"Yeah, that movie looks awesome. So much blood!" Sam laughed.

I was giggling at Sam's sudden impression of a scary vampire when Freddie caught my eye. At first, I thought he too was trying to be a vampire who was attempting to eat Sam as he was bulging his eyes out and nodding to Sam behind her back. I snorted when I realised what he was really trying to do. He was urging me to let him go to the movies with Sam himself. This was not like Freddie at all, he must be really desperate to be alone with Sam.

I decided I would go along with his pathetic movie plan anyway, "I hate scary movies!" I shuddered.

"Do you, Carly?" Freddie said doing a terrible impression of a surprised person, "I guess me and Sam could go to the movies without you."

Sam snorted, "Why would I want to go to the movies with you, Freddork!"

"Because we both want to see Vampires Revenge." Freddie explained.

"I'm not going with you, Freddie!" She laughed, "Get over it!"

Freddie groaned and nonchalantly kicked the ground hard in frustration. Sam was once again smiling, seeming to be still oblivious to the 2nd attempt that Freddie had made to ask her on a date. I could see the pain on his face and to be honest, I was beginning to feel frustrated too, why couldn't she see that Freddie had feelings for her?

Therefore, the theory that blondes are the most clueless of people was proved by Sam Puckett. She is currently sleeping beside me, probably dreaming of ham, clueless to the fact that next door, a boy was most likely dreaming about her.

If that doesn't prove the intelligence of blondes, then I don't know what will.

Wait. Sam has just opened her eyes.

"I know, Carly . . . about Freddie," She said softly, "I'm just not ready for it to happen yet. Be patient. When the time is right for both of us, then I'll stop being oblivious but right now, it's for the best."

I watched in shock as Sam went back to sleep, snoring softly again. How did she know I knew about her and Freddie? How did she know herself?

I guess blondes are more intelligent than we give them credit for. Who knew?

Sincerely, Carly Shay.

***
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