Just What I Needed

Just What I Needed (64)

“I really should have signed someone less stubborn,” Ms Jones observed.

Arching an eyebrow she just felt one side of her mouth tip up as she replied, “I’m determined, not stubborn.”

“No, no, you’re just stubborn.”

Jolting slightly at the new voice, Keely’s eyes hastily found Seth as he took the seat beside her casually, as if he hadn’t just showed up an hour late.

Even though her pulse began to race and she was struck by the fact he could look so absentmindedly handsome with slight stubble crossing over his chin, his typical bed hair and a light grey hoodie, Keely kept herself from shifting away from him. That would be suspicious, wouldn’t it? With the thought crossing her mind, she focused solely on keeping her cheeks from reddening.

“I wouldn’t be talking if I were you,” she settled on her reply, arching an eyebrow casually as she reached out to grab her drink.

Barely hearing Maureen speaking but gathering enough to know she was pestering Seth about not showing up, Keely just stared down at her glass of water that she’d taken for her burning throat.

Her hand gripping it was shaking slightly.

As she watched the water skittering up the edges of the seamless cup, she could only decide that it was from nerves.

In the day that had passed since her record release, she hadn’t been within a hundred meters of him. If having that little time apart was a good thing or not, as of yet she didn’t know. All Keely knew for sure that his arm being a mere movement away from brushing hers was enough to make her heart pound against her chest.

Would he notice the change in her? If anyone knew her, it was him. Maybe he didn’t know every fact about her life, but he knew her and that meant more than knowing that when she was twelve she’d fallen from a tree and broken her arm. So if anyone would be able to tell that there was a difference in her emotions and behaviour, it would be him.

However, that wasn’t even the biggest question for her. The biggest being, did she even want him to know?

Yes, sure, she’d kept the fact that she’d had what she’d considered a little school girl crush on him a secret. But… love – even the thought of the word made her cringe – was a lot different than anything else.

He might deserve to know about the enormous swerve in her heart, even if it was just to tell her that she needed to get a hold of herself, but how could she tell him she loved him when she couldn’t even tell him she missed him when they were apart? Not to mention the biggest slice of her emotions were plain terrified. She just didn’t want to feel this way about anyone, even him.

The thought of being in love with someone just sent a deep spread panic through her bones. She wasn’t good with it; all she had to do was look into her history to gather that much. From her entire relationship with Tony all the way to what she now knew her parent’s relationship had been like. She wasn’t meant to be in love, it was practically in her DNA.

How on earth could she tell him she loved him but wished she didn’t?

“You okay?”

Tearing her eyes from the glass that she’d been staring at numbly, Keely jerked her chin up to look at the boy sitting beside her who was sending her a bewildered look.

“Yeah,” she answered hastily, “Perfect.” In her rush to pretend like she was a completely normal human being – instead of her obviously emotionally twisted self – she took an enormous gulp from the glass she was holding. But immediately started coughing when the liquid hit her throat awkwardly, causing her eyes to water as she sat straight up in her seat, her cheeks blazing.