Normal is Overrated (Joke and Funnies Book)

Puzzling Questions and Strange Statements

Ok, so whats the speed of dark?

If a cow laughs hard, does mild come out its nose?

If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?

If Wal-Mart is lowering its prices everyday, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

Why do we drive in the parkway and park in the driveway?

If the sky is the limit, then why is space over the limit?

“Cute as a button”. Is that supposed to be a complement? Since when are buttons cute?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “ I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink was comes out?”

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Is a turtle without his shell homeless or naked?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers.

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

By one for the price of two and get the second one free!
If nobody is perfect I must be nobody.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

I am not stupid everyone else is just smarted than me.

A life? Cool! Where do I download one of those?

I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it?

My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium... my work here is done.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.