1. I'll call it a 'smartphone' the day I yell "Where's my freaking phone!?" and it answers "I'm here! Under your jacket."
2. Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and leave.
3. Dear Mind, please stop talking so much at night. I need to sleep.
4. I like my bed more than I like most people.
5. Interrupt my sleep, and I'll interrupt your breathing.
6. Early to bed and early to rise - till you have enough money to do otherwise. ---Peter's Almanac
7. Today have been canceled. Go back to bed.
8. Just once in my life I'd like to see a liar's pants catch on fire.
9. I'm not going outside until the temperature is about my age!
10. The police called and said one of my friends escaped from the mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up from?
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
Normal is Overrated (Joke and Funnies Book)
Ngẫu nhiênJust some random sayings that are very funny. My friend and I found them on the internet so I am sorry if there is a copy write problem. I also will edit the language on some of the jokes. Just to let you know! Enjoy! 7/4/16: I have edited this stor...
