1. I used to be frustrated by people talking at movie theatres until I realized how entertaining it was to bring a squirt bottle and pretend to sneeze.
2. Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one ever plans a murder out loud.
3. You can't always control who walks into your life. But you CAN control which window you throw them out of.
4. I love waving at random people. Because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who you were!!
5. I'm not a smartass... I am a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm!
6. In desperate need of a six-moth vacation twice a year.
7. Breaking News: common sense is now an endangered species. Stupidity has taken over the world and unfortunately no cure is known.
8. It take real skill to choke on air, fall up stairs, and trip over completely nothing...I have that skill...
9. Instead of a sigh that says "Do not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed. Proceed with caution."
10. In Bed: It's 6 am. You close your eyes for five minutes, its 7:45. At work: its 1:30. You close your eyes for five minutes, its 1:31.
YOU ARE READING
Normal is Overrated (Joke and Funnies Book)
RandomJust some random sayings that are very funny. My friend and I found them on the internet so I am sorry if there is a copy write problem. I also will edit the language on some of the jokes. Just to let you know! Enjoy! 7/4/16: I have edited this stor...
