Dieting Rules
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has NO calories.
2. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
3. Foods used for medical purposes NEVER count, such as Hot Chocolate, Clinker Rocky Road, Baileys, Fudge, Cake and Biscuits.
4. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner!
5. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
6. Anything consumed while standing up has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
7. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.
8. Break a biscuit open and the calories fall out. Birthday cake has no calories and if your sampling bits of making that didn't work they have no calories either!
9. Anything you eat while you are away from home on holiday (especially overseas) doesn't count!
10. Anything taken from the fridge at night has no calories if the lights is off. The calories don't know where to go.
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Normal is Overrated (Joke and Funnies Book)
RandomJust some random sayings that are very funny. My friend and I found them on the internet so I am sorry if there is a copy write problem. I also will edit the language on some of the jokes. Just to let you know! Enjoy! 7/4/16: I have edited this stor...
