Fast Break

forty-three : just breathe

‼️TRIGGER WARNING‼️ Anxiety, panic attacks!

May

Christopher was awoken with a panic attack. He sat up with a powerful jerk of his own body. He was panting like he had just run a couple miles, he caught his breath and laid back down. He checked his phone. It was already 1 pm.

12:34 pm

Matt: you okay baby? lmk when you wake up

1:15 pm

Chris: hey, just woke up. i'm doing alright i guess.
Matt: you want me to come over?
Chris: no you don't have to darling i'm just anxious i guess
Matt: are you sure? you could come over and we'll do nothing all day.
Chris: i'm sure darling. maybe i'll come over later if i'm feeling better
Matt: okay, i'm always one text or phone call away. i love you <3
Chris: i love you more <3

Christopher laid in bed for what seemed like hours, it was only 15 minutes. He finally got out of bed, he greeted his mom in the living room.

"hey mom." Christopher sat on the couch with her.
"You okay mijo?" She asked.
"about as good as i could be." Christopher sighed.
"oh mí hito, don't let him get in your head. go for a ride, go see Matthew, go sit in a park. You need to blow him off." She said.
"It's not like he ever showed up for me, i love you, i'll see you later." Christopher said as he got up off the couch.
"Go be a teenager, i love you too." She responded.

Christopher walked out of the house and sat in his car for a bit. He was still in his joggers and hoodie, he ventured to Matthew's home for some comfort. He drove with the sounds of classic rock in the background to soothe his mind. He arrived and rang the door bell.

"Can you get that Matt?!" Matthew's mom yelled.
"Yeah I got it!" Matthew yelled back.

Matthew opened the door and was relieved.

"hey." Christopher smiled weakly.
"Hey, you wanna come in?" Matthew gestured.
"yeah i'd like that." Christopher said.

Christopher walked in and was greeted with Matthew's siblings in the living room.

"Hey Chris! Congrats on yesterday's victory." Jonathan said.
"Yeah congrats." Spencer added.
"Thanks." Christopher smiled.
"You wanna join us?" Sam asked.
"We'll join you guys later." Matthew said before Christopher could even open his mouth.
"Okay, we'll see you guys later." Spencer said.

Matthew and Christopher walked over to his room. He gently closed the door and turned around to see Christopher standing aimlessly. Matthew just hugged him tightly.

"You okay?" Matthew asked.
"Yeah, i guess i'm just reliving old times." Christopher kissed his cheek.
"Is that all?" Matthew asked again.
"i was awoken with a panic attack Matt." Christopher buried himself in his boyfriend.
"oh my love. i am so sorry, would you like to cuddle and watch a movie? or we can go out there and do the same with my siblings?" Matthew mentioned.
"You wanna watch American Pie or The Mighty Ducks?" Matthew smiled.
"American Pie." Christopher responded.
"come on, we'll relax together. You want a shirt?" Matthew added.
"How did you?" Christopher asked.
"you never wear one under your hoodies, and you like to steal my shirts." Matthew smiled.
"Yes i do." Christopher smiled into a kiss.
"So handsome." Matthew kissed his forehead.

They laid in Matthew's bed cuddling. Christopher was laying in his chest, the sound of Matthew's heart beating always brought him back to earth. Matthew played with his lovers hair, he kissed his forehead. Christopher played with Matthew's hands and fingers. Christopher eventually fell asleep hugging his boyfriend. It was the first good sleep he's had in a couple days. Matthew called Christopher's mom and let her know where he was and that he would be home late if he was going home at all. She thanked him for caring for her son and making sure she was informed. Matthew eventually drifted off to sleep himself.

Hours past, Christopher had woken up to see his boyfriend sound asleep holding him close. Christopher kissed his neck and cheeks, he woke him up gently.

"look whose awake." Matthew smirked tiredly.
"you're one to talk." Christopher chuckled.
"sleep good?" Matthew asked.
"yeah, i better head home soon." Christopher said.
"nope. you're staying here, already have it taken care of." Matthew said.
"what do you mean?" Christopher asked.
"called your mom and told her you're staying the night and that you were okay." Matthew said.
"really?" Christopher questioned.
"uh-huh." Matthew hummed in agreement.
"you're the best." Christopher buried himself in Matthew's neck.
"i know." Matthew smiled.
"i love you so much." Christopher said as he drifted off to sleep once more.
"i know. i love you more." Matthew kissed his forehead. "sleep my love." Matthew played with his hair.
"already on it." Christopher smiled.

They drifted off to sleep once more. Christopher needed this sort of care, he was stressed and anxious. He never slept so well, ever since he met Matthew he hadn't slept well by himself. He eventually was hugging Matthew and pulling him close throughout the night.