Fast Break

sixty-three : moment

‼️SLIGHT SMUT, DEPRESSION, & LANGUAGE WARNING‼️

Days later

The June air wafted through Christopher's home. He hadn't heard from Matthew all day, he assumed he was sleeping or busy. He resided at home helping his mom clean the house.

Matthew had woken up that day feeling odd. His body felt heavy, his mind even heavier. A feeling of emptiness washed over him, he felt sad. He went for a drive. He got in his car and drove, he drove for miles. His music filling his ears.

*Now playing Mary by Alex G*

His music matched his mood. He opened the sunroof and his windows, allowing the air to blow his hair around. He thought the fresh air would help. Matthew kept driving, he drove around town, and through the surrounding areas.

*Now playing The Mountain by Three Days Grace*

Matthew sang along. The music helped him feel better. Given the events that had taken place the past few days, he was tired. Driving cleared his head and helped him live a little easier. He noticed the clouds rolling in, rain was soon to come. He pulled over and awaited the rain. He closed his windows and sunroof. He got out and stood in the rain.

He looked up to the sky. The cold droplets hit his skin, he felt them glide; the water soaking his hair and body. The feeling of water absorbing into his skin brought him back to earth. He ran his hands through his hair.

He felt alive.

The emptiness in his chest was still there but, he was reminded of his humanity; his physicality. Matthew remembered the feeling of being in his own skin, the feeling of being alive. He wasn't perfect but he felt better. He felt sort of whole again. He took a deep breath in. The cold crisp air filled his lungs, he felt full. Suddenly, all the happy memories of winning games with his best friends came flooding in, all the times he had kissed his boyfriend, all the times he felt genuine joy. Matthew got back in his car, he laughed when he saw himself soaked. He called Christopher.

"Hey." Matthew said.
"Hey. Are you okay? I haven't heard from you all day." Christopher was concerned.
"Yeah. I've been taking a sort of mental health day." Matthew responded.
"Do you need me?" Christopher asked.
"Not in the way you think." Matthew teased.
"Seriously mi amor." Christopher chuckled. "Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes." Matthew chuckled. "Can i come over?" He asked.
"Yeah. It's just me." Christopher said.
"Good. I'll be over soon." Matthew smiled.
"I love you, drive safe." Christopher responded.
"I love you more." Matthew hung up.

He made to Christopher's while it was still raining. Christopher sat on the porch waiting for Matthew. Matthew got out of his car and ran to Christopher.

"Dance with me." Matthew said.
"Okay." Christopher was confused but he smiled and agreed.

Matthew pulled him onto the sidewalk and into the rain. Matthew danced with Christopher in the rain, holding him by the waist, he dipped him. Matthew pulled him back up and kissed him.

"What's gotten into you today?" Christopher asked jokingly.
"If I'm being honest, I woke up feeling like shit. I drove, stood in the rain, and now I'm just really happy." Matthew smiled.
"I love you." Christopher smiled like an idiot.

They swayed in the rain. Matthew couldn't be more satisfied with his life, he had the thing most people sought after, what lots killed for. He had Christopher, the most perfect boy in his eyes. He had trouble communicating his feelings and appreciation towards Christopher sometimes. Alas, Christopher knew what he meant to Matthew and he didn't need any words to confirm it. Matthew wished he could put his thoughts into words as effortlessly as his boyfriend did, he would someday.